Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. – J.K. Rowling
Each day we keep discovering new things about ourselves – either positive or negative. We keep expanding our horizons as we enter different phases of life. Dealing with tension, anxiety leading to unwanted emotional compromises which are known as psychological growing pains. It is said no pain no gain which means that we need to face pain which helps us to grow as an individual. The hard times have a purpose to make us strong. Whenever we reflect back on past difficulties, we always have observed how we have overcome the problem and upgraded to another level of endurance.
As humans, we suffer from two types of pain – physical and mental. Either way, there is an element of discomfort. Physical pain is experienced during working out or exercising. An athletic or a person going to the gym regularly would have to push their limits each day which results in body pain as the muscles are building up. In order to achieve daily targets and have the sets on a rep, one has to constantly keep consistency. Emotional growing pains are similar to physical pain. The way we need should not ignore anybody’s pain and take the proper medication or rest for it to heal. We should do the same for our mental health which most of us tend to ignore as it is not a common topic to be discussed.
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. – Kahlil Gibran
Often we tend to stay in our comfort zones and can not accept challenges or changes easily. The more we cling for a situation not to change we are causing pain to ourselves by not letting go. It affects one’s prosperity and growth. Rather, we should become pioneers, pushing the limits of what we think we know and opening ourselves to the likelihood that what we believe is certainly could be feeling. Testing ourselves in such a manner can cause some distress, so go slowly. Getting out of the comfort zone is the first step to conquer the change which is causing pain.
A tree has to face changing weather all year round. The way it stays strong in the windiest days. It is similar to the pains we go through in life where we can not be carried away with the wind but keep our roots strong so that we overcome it bravely. Another example would be the Disney character Mulan, where she is trained to be the finest warriors. Initially, she couldn’t cope up with the challenges but eventually, she did learn. There is no courage without fear.
New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. Lao Tzu
Getting over emotional pain does not happen in a day. So do not be too hard on yourself. Give yourself ample time to heal. I would recommend the following tips to overcome emotional pain
- Appreciate the present
Remember you are where you once wanted to be. Now you are struggling with the next goal in life which will serve you. Do not self doubt yourself. Always show up and take each day as a challenge. You will eventually get what you deserve. Do not ruminate on the past and try to let go to embrace the present.
- Refine Failure
Pain often helps us to grow. No one likes to be in pain but its all part of the process for getting better humans. If there were no curveball or twists in life it would not been a rollercoaster ride. We would not appreciate the success as we can get it easily without failure and might take it for granted. In order to value the reward of prosperity, we all have to go through immense emotional pain. We need to seek and celebrate the phase we are in. We should appreciate the person we are. Find a circle of people who lift you up in these hard times to push you to achieve your goals.
- Reframe your thought
Growing is about discomfort which is not a feeling we can express in words. There are days when this pain keeps increasing which pushes our limits. The feelings are knocking your door where we have a fear which is overwhelming with countless number of doubts. We need to reframe our thoughts to navigate the process. Most of the times we get and answer when we question ourselves if it is serving me or not? Trust your inner voice.
In the end I would conclude by saying keep shining brighter as you possess the inner light which guides you in dark time.
Whatever it is you want to change, Elul (Jewish month) is the time for it. Unprecedented doors open up for you now, opportunities that do not come very often – Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Hope this article was helpful and informative. If you have any other recommendations which worked for you do mention in the comments section. Let us keep spreading positive vibes. Be healthy and safe. Stay tuned for a new post till next week!