We live in a world of social media where the news gets viral in a few seconds. Finding motivational words from people who should actually inspire us but they hurt us more. It only fuels our bad phase while making us sad. Although the people always do not intent to bring us down some words unknowingly do. We keep scrolling our newsfeeds with all happy moments about our friends on social media where all are showing a happy side of life. Some of them look positive all the time and we keep wondering how this person can be so calm in all this chaos what is happening during this pandemic. As humans, we cannot be happy all the time. It is okay to be sad but not okay to stay there forever. The ups and downs are part of life. During the phase when we feel low it is crucial to stay positive but then at some point, it is not the way to approach the situation.
You can’t control the world, but when you control your thoughts, you bring order.” – Bernie Siegel
What is toxic positivity?
Toxic positivity is the idea that keeping positive, and keeping positive just, is the correct method to carry on with our life. It implies just concentrating on positive things and ignoring negative feelings. It is always easy to say but no one actually does in real life.
It is contradictory that how can positivity be toxic as it’s good energy. Basically, too much of anything will be harmful similar is with positivity which becomes harmful. Toxic positivity seems to be fake words used to calm down a person. For example “everything will be fine”, “Stay positive”, “cheer up” “Everything happens for a reason”, “This too shall pass” or “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. Maybe they said, “It’s going to be okay”, “You’ll get through this” or “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone else”. Or, maybe they tried to make you feel better by sharing, “I know someone who had that same type of situation and they’re doing great now”, “Never Give up” or my favorite, “It could be worse”. Although the words or phrases used are positive but that is not what we want to hear while going through tough times.
“Feel your feelings but do not let them become you” – Dr. Ruth Ziemba
Sometimes we cannot run away from toxic positivity. It starts affecting our emotional health since one can tend to overthink. But perhaps these 3 ways might be helpful :
- Stop being too hard on yourself-
Toxic positivity usually affects us in a manner where we start by comparing our lives to others. Acceptance is an important aspect and the first step to protect our emotional health. Do not feel guilty about what you are going through as each one has their own journey which is part of life. We are human and go through a lot of emotions in different phases. We can not stay positive all the time. And sometimes we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. It is okay to feel sad and accept the emotion. Do not have an attitude of it is what it is. It leads to shame and suppressed emotions
2. Pressing the pause button –
Giving space to the person who is going through a hard time is important so that they can reflect. In case someone is going through the hard phase they should detox from people who make them feel positive or hurt with those statements which do not help them grow. Most of the times the best way to heal is by pressing the pause button to accept and let it go. Toxic positivity has an impact on the relationships around us. At times someone might just try to shut down instead of expressing as each time they tried they felt inferior to have feelings of pain and being stuck.
3. Changing the words we speak –
We can change our sentences so that the impact will not be toxic to another person. Talk to someone who will comfort you instead of making you feel more vulnerable.
In the end I would conclude that we need to take care of our and loved ones emotional health. Lets be kind towards the people around us.
Hope this article was helpful and informative. If you have any other recommendations which worked for you do mention in the comments section. Let us keep spreading positive vibes. Be healthy and safe. Stay tuned for a new post till next week!
Finding the love within... 