Human beings are said to be the most adaptable in the environment. During this ongoing worldwide pandemic, we all have been indoors staying with either our parents, kids, siblings, significant other, or roommates. This is the time where we make or break a relationship. In case if someone is not getting along people, they are quarantining with then it could be traumatizing, annoying, and dramatic. It can have a direct effect on one’s mental health. Earlier we had distractions to avoid the conversations or spend time with them but now since we are indoors, we must deal with them daily. We conclude that even if we do not get along with them, in the end, we must put our foot down. Keeping ego aside could be hard and can often end up in fights and arguments. Apart from this situation, we come across difficult people at work. The question arises on how to make peace with them.
As a Disney fan, I see it as if the person is Grumpy (from the movie Snow White and the seven dwarfs) and you have been acting like Snow White to dealing with them. In the end, patience and kindness change Grumpy’s attitude towards Snow White. In real life, we just keep waiting for the happy ending and we only get disappointed since it never like the fairytales. These difficult people’s vibe affects our mood and day tremendously.
Here is a list of 3 simple DON’Ts to tackle the situation:
- Do not be hard on yourself by overthinking or analyzing the situation.
- Do not gossip or judge a difficult person.
- Do not take things personally.
“Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a refection of their character, but as a reflection of yours” – Dave Willis
How do we handle these difficult people in our lives? It is easy to get angry being defensive thinking that a strong argument will make us win. But that only makes us foolish and weak since we give them the power to manipulate us. Does that mean we should not express ourselves or views? Sometimes we feel that this difficult person is purposely behaving badly towards us. Possibly starting an argument to seek attention. Every person could be different, and we won’t know what is the truth if there is a lack of communication.
The following 5 suggestions might be helpful:
1. Empathy & Forgiveness –
Every person has grown up in a different environment that impacts a person’s behavior. Being empathetic to a person is a critical step if you want to build a relationship. Understanding the reason what makes them angry or annoyed situation. Be courageous enough to forgive a person. Keeping a grudge will only make the present and future worst to tolerate each other.
2. Let it go to choose peace –
Remark from a difficult person can trigger our mind. We need to stay calm. We give life to what we give our energy to so choose wisely. There is no point in changing a difficult person since they are always very stubborn to budge.
3. Kill them with kindness –
Instead of giving someone a taste of their own medicine, it is better to deal with them with kindness. Acts of kindness can be in the form of cooking or cleaning or something which will make them happy. Redirect your energy to good and positive. When you see your worth, you will find it hard to be with people who don’t.
4. Silence is gold –
Sometimes the best way in an argument is to stay silent. In that way, most of the times smart people win an argument. There is a psychological trigger to the person who is angry that why the other person is not reacting or having a counter-argument. Also, it is a waste of energy since the other person is never going to understand your views.
5. Set limits and boundaries –
Some people can be very rude towards us. The words can hurt us affecting our self-esteem. We have the right to protect ourselves and tell the person “Please don’t talk to me this way” Communication is a way to let the difficult person know that they are entering your territory. It is okay and not selfish to put yourself first.
I am sure everyone has learnt their tactics to deal with such a situation. Are you a person who will give an eye for an eye or do something else? Let me know in the comments section or personally.
I hope you stay strong and brave to deal with this (unusual) phase. Be healthy and safe. More in the next blog.
“Our greatest ability as humans is not to change the world but to change ourselves.”Mahatma Gandhi