Emotional Breakdown!

Little people belittle people. Great people make people feel great. – Rick Warren

The month of May is known as a mental health awareness month. Although we are in June does not mean that it cannot be discussed. Life has its ups and downs. No one is spared from problems and traumas. The way we react, behave, and approach only is different. The grass is always green on the other side. Hence it is said to be kind to everyone you meet as you do not know what battle they are facing within. Pandemic has been the highlight of 2020. In this phase, we all have had more feelings of negativity, anxiety, sadness, loneliness which all are causes of depression. 

 Most of the times the society or the people around us bring us down. I’m still not sure what is the outcome apart from giving the victim a sense of worthlessness. Growing up in a conservative society where we can’t do what our hearts say because we think of what people will think. Won’t people judge irrespective if you do as per the social norms or what your heart wants? So many dreams have been killed inside because of the fear of being the change to society. Breaking the rules for the sake to peruse what your heart wants is not wrong at all. We all have nosy relatives or people around who like to know everything in our life while giving us life advice which was never asked for. And there is a point where that advice has got on your nerves as if that will be the life-changing experience. For example, A person in their early 20s usually faces advice of getting married. If someone is married, then there is advice about starting a family. Whatever you do in life these nosy people are never satisfied and want more with high expectations. Can that affect a person’s mental health if they are constantly reminded of the things to do to survive in society?

There must be a way for a judgment-free society. Why can’t people prioritize their as well as other’s mental health?

I related nosy people to the character of Scar from the Disney movie, The Lion King, where Scar tries to manipulate and threaten Simba. Similarly the intentions are to break us emotionally with their words. Most of the time we get trapped with their words and taunts which hurt us making us sad. It can lead to a nervous breakdown as they bring us down. Instead of appreciating the achievement which we have accomplished, they keep reminding us of the things we should do or sometimes it is about our failures. We all do have freedom of speech but we should use our words wisely. Like the bullet from the gun which cannot be undone similarly the words spoken cannot be taken back. 

Loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself.” — Rupi Kaur

Celebrities have also faced depression. It’s been a common disease that everyone goes through. some are brave to accept and smile over the fact while overcoming it. While others can’t take it anymore and choose to end their life. It’s sad to see how famous people like Sushant Singh Rajput, Avicii, Chester Bennington, David Berman, etc have committed suicide. It’s high time we need to make mental health awareness a priority. On the brighter side, there are famous people like Lady Gaga, Sarah Silverman, Owen Wilson, Demi Lovato, J.K. Rowling, Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock, Deepika Padukone, Anushka Sharma, Shah Rukh Khan, etc who have confessed that they suffered from depression and they have overcome it.

The ones who go through an emotional breakdown may have behavior changes. The reasons can be internal or external which can vary from work pressure or major life changes or mishap which haunts. In case you or any close one is having a pattern of any of the below it is recommended to seek help immediately. They tend to avoid socializing and prefer being isolated in their house. Their eating and sleeping habits are tremendously affected.

I would recommend that someone who faces nervous breakdown must have a source to vent out. I am not a medical expert professional on mental issues but they should seek help. It is okay to feel not okay. It is not okay to stay that way in pain and misery. These tips might be helpful for how to help them:

  1. Listen without judging the person 
  2. Be Kind
  3. Have empathy along with words of motivating
  4. Help them to cope 

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the great make you feel that you, too, can become great. – Mark Twain

If each one of us use our words without having evil speech our world will be a better place. Also, most of the mind games to pull someone down will be ended forever. For someone who is going through this rough phase I would suggest the following:

  • Always remember never to let anyone treat you badly. You are unique in your own ways. Appreciate yourself. 
  • Find a source to vent out either by talking to a friend or consulting a therapist.
  • Meditate or do yoga where inner peace can be attained. Practicing breathing exercises will help to be grateful in life.
  • Listen to your body and have a healthy diet along with forming proper sleeping patterns.
  • Detox technology since most of the information makes us feel sad building negativity in our minds.
  • Live in the present by appreciating what you have in life rather than being frustrated about what is uncontrollable.

I would conclude by saying that we all have to learn to deal with nosy people as well as cope up with negative feelings like a warrior in a battle. Be Strong!

Hope this article was helpful and informative. If you have any other recommendations which worked for you do mention in the comments section. Let us keep spreading positive vibes. Be healthy and safe. Stay tuned for a new post till next week!

Shoo away the negativity!

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” – Zig Ziglar

We cannot have good and positive thoughts all the time. Although it is said to keep positivity in life, in reality, it is difficult. Our mind is most of the time occupied thinking about some issues which are the source of our negativity. It leads to having traits of a pessimist. Dark energy makes us feel sad and depressed as if we are stuck in a room of darkness. Have you ever felt as if things are not working as per your plan? Do you feel as if there is an energy that is pulling you down and you are helpless even if you want to save yourself?

Our thoughts depend on what we feed our minds. Remember its okay not to be okay. What is not okay is to decide to be there without bulging and blaming the situation. We need to manage negative emotions and thoughts without ignoring the feeling of being vulnerable and weak. When we let negative energy take control then it creates a sense of self-doubt that pulls away from the positive mindset. The negativity drowns us so deep that we find ourselves suffocated and cannot swim to survive. The feeling of despair and loss of hope gets stronger. It breaks our self-confidence drastically. We can change it by self-improving and feeding our minds with positivity. Do not let the negative spirit drain your energy. We need to keep finding motivation in our daily life so that the negativity does not take over our minds. 

“As soon as you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you will start to get positive results.” – Willie Nelson

Negative thoughts are like those villains in the movies who want us to be trapped which will only ruin us. I would relate negativity with the Dementor from the Harry Potter series. If you haven’t been a Potterhead then let me brief you. Dementor feeds on good memories and sucks all the happiness leaving a person with a bad experience. Similar way negativity makes us stop seeing the brighter side of life. Dementors can be defeated only by one happy memory from the past with the spell “Expecto Patronum”. Wouldn’t life be easy if we could use the Patronus spell in real life and shoo the negativity away? From this, we can conclude that need positivity to overcome negativity.

Negativity influences everyone’s life. It gives us feelings of disappointment, stress, anxiety, and worries. We should not let it affect our life. We need to change the negative to positivity. Here are three ways:

  • Pep talk –

Inspiration and motivation are like taking a shower daily where we need to keep our daily hygiene. Similarly, our mind needs its daily dose of positivity every day. It can be in the form of a podcast, TedTalks, webinars, tv shows, books, etc. Find ways for positive vibes which will help to build your happy place. Having some famous people who can be ideal can help as they will inspire the energy resulting in positive outcomes. It can even be talking to a person who encourages you when you feel low. We constantly need that pep talk when we find ourselves lost with negativity so find the best way which suits you.

  • Break the cycle –

If you do not act towards them having a change there will be a feeling of déjà vu. Unless there is a different approach or solution for the problem, we end up running in circles. The more you hold on to that energy it will only keep harming you by being grumpy or bad mood. We often tend to give power to the feeling to control our day. At times that is even seen by getting angry on petty issues or using someone as a punching bag for removing that negativity. Learn to let it go and clear that mind space for inner peace. Take some time off as being alone self-reflection and solutions work better rather than having people or things keeping you occupied.

  • Manifest –

The law of attraction is a simple way to manifest our life. It states that our mind has the power to control our emotions. The energy we give the universe has a way of returning it to us. So, if we think of something bad it will happen so, and likewise, if it is for something good then the results will be positive. It is very important in which direction and how do we process our thoughts for the outcome. Like the proverb, you reap what you sow is how the power of manifestation works. 

I would like to conclude that life is full of experiences and we should not overthink or underestimate the power of positivity. We all have our struggles and are on different levels of life. We could be battling the same demons of negativity in various avatars. The result should be winning with a positive attitude. Managing negative feelings is about acknowledging the way that we are feeling them, asking ourselves why we are feeling this way, and listen to the hidden messages that this situation is trying to teach us to move ahead. Once the hard times pass we see ourselves grown stronger than before. Eventually, we find the way out of the dark forest with a positive mindset of not giving up and keeping the ray of hope.

“Love yourself. It is essential to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out.” – Jenn Proske

Hope this article was helpful and informative. If you have any other recommendations which worked for you do mention in the comments section. Let us keep spreading positive vibes. Be healthy and safe. Stay tuned for a new post till next week!

Self Respect as High as the Skyscrapers? :)

“They can’t take away our self-respect if we cannot give it to them” – Mahatma Gandhi 

There are times when we keep holding on and don’t value ourselves enough. Most of the situations we get caught up in emotions because of having a people-pleasing personality. At the end of all this trauma, we land up hurting ourselves by putting our self-esteem on a toss. Where does the self-respect disappear in that situation? Are we so blind in love to save the relationship that we can’t see how we are lowering our standard just for this person to take us for granted? I’m sure someone’s picture crossed your mind when those questions arise.

Our environment/societies have hidden inspirations which we can see only if we change our perspective. Have you stood below a skyscraper and looked at it till the top and got mind blown? Or vice versa just reach the top floor and look down to the road. Both have different views but they do share something in common. In either case, it’s you who is changing the perspective. It’s better to have high values and standards rather than settling for something you think you deserve just for the sake of this materialistic world demands. And if we keep our self-respect as high as skyscraper then I’m sure no one standing on the ground will dare to break us likely. 

“Your identity is your most valuable possession. Protect it.” — Elastigirl (The Incredibles)

Self-respect is a form of self-love wherein a person values his or her unique approach to life. It is having an understanding and appreciating one’s qualities. And the most important and difficult thing we learned growing up is making life choices and decisions which partly are affected by how much we put ourselves before. Self-respect is a condition of acknowledgment that an individual is important and valued. A self-respecting person can recognize his or her strengths and weaknesses. Instead of getting disappointed with the weaknesses, they see the situation as areas of improvement. 

I listed, in brief, how can we start self-respecting ourselves more which most of us have learned from life experiences.

“Your self worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are” – Beyonce

  • Know your worth

Once you realize your value you’ll never settle for anything less. Self-respect is always a hidden aspect where we most of the times don’t understand how it can be lost. With years most of us realize not to let someone treat you as an option only because they are lacking the confidence to prioritize you. Do you want a person who doesn’t prioritize you but wants you to be there for them? Remember you’re so worth more than being mistreated. And we learn to filter the people we want in our life. The people we choose to represent our TRIBE so be wise as they influence our habits, thinking, and lifestyle. 

  • Power lies within 

You have more POWER than you know instead of going with the flow. Take that decision. Time to stand up for yourself for the respect which you are worth it. You don’t need validation from others whether you should be respected or not. The choice lies within where you put yourself above everyone. Listen to the faded away voice which says “YOU’RE WORTHY” 

  • Make a decision

If you want to find the person who will change your life, take a look at the mirror. No one else can take control of your life unless if you give them the power to someone elsewhere there are rare possibilities it will not make you miserable. Never let anyone take you for a ride where you’ll end up in a vicious circle of getting emotionally drained each day and losing the real you. Even if you want to save the relationship it’s always better to choose yourself over anyone else since they don’t care about you. 

  • Take pride to set boundaries

Honor the person you are. It is always easy to say but once you take the courage towards the first step which is accepting the love and respect you deserve you’ll be unstoppable. And it will result in self-care where you will learn the art to say NO. 

In the end, I would conclude by saying that self-respect will make you feel happy and satisfied with your personal, professional, and social life. You feel incredible and a sense of responsibility for your life. 

“Don’t take the burden of the world’s problems upon yourself. Don’t ignore them either”– Rabbi Tar’fon put it – “The work is not upon you to complete but neither are you exempt from trying” – Talmud

Lets sore our self respect high as skyscrapers and keep spreading the positive vibes in this universe. Stay tuned for another interesting topic next Sunday until then be safe and healthy.

Date Yourself!? (:

“You, yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve all love and affection” – Buddha

Irrespective of what age we become we should not stop loving and appreciating ourselves. Whether you are having a significant other or single does not mean that you should stop self-care towards your body and soul. Self-care is a crucial step in understanding your identity.

If you just rely upon others for satisfaction, you will land up being sad. In any case, if you take a little bit of your time and devote it carefully to yourself by putting your telephone on quiet and concentrating only on investing energy with yourself like you would with someone on a date. You will gradually find the inner peace that you were depending on others to discover.

Investing time alone assists with self-reflection and becoming acquainted with yourself better, like a date with someone else. Dating yourself is a great type of self-care, where you settle on decisions considering just your satisfaction and prosperity. It allows you to be content with or without a partner. Have an attitude of understanding yourselves first where other opinions about us do not matter. 

“The best investment you can make is an investment in yourself. The more you learn, the more you’ll earn”– Warren Buffett

Dating yourself strengthens the possibility of the love and joy within. It eventually puts less pressure on potential partners to be responsible for your happiness. Also, when you know who you are more deeply it will boost your self-esteem and worthiness. Unless you note what qualities, you possess you will never know how to flaunt about your strengths. It is okay to be picky in finding a potential partner when you know your self-worth. 

Now you would think about how someone can date themselves in it real especially in this worldwide pandemic. Its easy we all have almost the day to ourselves so I am sure we can give at least 10-20 minutes for a little reflection and practicing self-love. It is never too late to build a happy place. We can always do one good thing each day for our body and soul. The motto is that each person should find and enhance their path to happiness in a different way. 

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?” -Talmud

These simple ideas are approaches to work on getting to know and date yourself. Also, when we top off self-esteem, we are progressively competent to love others. It is a win-win situation for everybody. 

  1. Make it happen – Set up the time and location of the date. Of course, now since its pandemic must be home itself. Dress up and ladies put on that makeup. You never dress for others but yourself. It can be ordered in or take away from your favorite restaurant. If it were normal or pre-pandemic life would have suggested eating and enjoy the food in the restaurant environment. Even going for a walk in the park or museum or anything which an ideal date would be can be done alone while self-dating yourself.
  2. Do Self-care stuff – Do something to relax and detox your body. It can be as simple as a bubble bath. Perhaps I believe to do things in low key so I would not recommend spending money over a spa which some people do to find pleasure. 
  3. Get those Gifts – Online shopping has been the best way to self-pamper. Yes, we all have experienced it. Most of us have even tracked the package. The best feeling is when the package arrives. The joy in our eyes is as if someone gifted us whereas it is us only who order certain stuff. We can self-gift ourselves for building inner happiness
  4. Choose yourself – Find ways to empower yourself towards boosting your confidence levels. By choosing to take care of yourself you tend to even care for others. Like it is said in the airplane instructions to put your safety mask first before helping others similarly we need to prioritize ourselves. 

Attempt one of the ideas above for dating yourself. I am sure there are more ideas about how each one pampers or dates themselves. In the end, it is our body and soul which must be nourished. Let me know in the comment section. Stay tuned for another article next Sunday. Till then be healthy, safe, and keep spreading the positive vibes.

“The things that make me different are the things that make me ME.” — Piglet (Winnie the Pooh)

Trust your instincts !!

“All you have to do is to pay attention, lessons always arrive when you are ready and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know to take the next step”- Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

Whenever we are in a difficult situation to make a choice all we have been suggested to do is listen to our inner voice. But then sometimes we think how is it even possible? It can be merely a decision stuck between heart and mind. Sometimes we think practically what must be done and other times we make decisions emotionally because we are often attached and cannot let it go. Does our inner voice guide us? How do we hear them in all this busy life?

We all know to trust our instinct as they never lie. The inner voice can be referred to as our gut feeling or instincts. It can be even our sixth sense which we need to listen so that we can be saved from a problem. It helps us direct our life decisions. I am sure we all have been in situations where we felt that something is fishy by either a person’s vibe or a certain environment. Sometimes we do ignore that inner voice or feeling which warns us and intent to jump into the unknown area without being aware of the consequences. And once we get more clues of this hidden mysterious person or scenario all the missing dots connect easily. 

No one is born having an expert feeling of what can be wrong but with the experience, we learn. And our gut feeling or instincts develop with time. For example, when we introduce a new friend to our parents, they will immediately know who can be toxic for us and hence they warn us. In most cases parents are right and we tend not to obey them.

“Always let your conscience be your guide.” — The Blue Fairy (Pinocchio)

We live in a world with people who have good as well as bad energy. We can be blinded to some sugar-coating good vibe which might be harmful to us in the long run. The feeling of how you are in the situation or with the person can never lie. 

Being a Disney fan, I relate the movies with the hidden life meaning which it is trying to convey to us. In the Pixar movie Inside out, our emotions were given a face and how all of them try to control a scenario. Our intuition is one of the feelings of fear which tries to warn us by giving us second thoughts. But the character is so cowardly that it can hardly make his voice count in all the other emotions. And it can be like our inner voice or instincts which is within us but cannot be loud or courageous so that it is clear to us. It doesn’t mean that emotion is not at all there but just very feeble.  

Intuition is the voice of our soul. Our body and soul are interlinked. And when we allow our soul to express itself then it is called freeing our spirit. Our body silently absorbs experiences that give us emotions like goosebumps or déjà vu. Our body has memory and stores emotions through past experiences. It remembers the feeling since the trauma is still living in us deep within. Our gut feeling resists and protects us which might make us uncomfortable. If we ignore the signs, then we will feel vulnerable and suffocated. Being aware of the pain and trauma can be a blessing. We need to take care of our bodies. 

“Faith requires following the power of a whisper.” – Shannon L. Alder

There are two ways where we can enhance our inner voice so that we can listen to it with more clarity.

  1. Pay attention to emotions – 

We can only reflect and analyze if we have some time off or are in a silent environment. We should keep in mind that not to numb the pain else it will feel crushed. Also, do not let your mind take over. It will merely end up overthinking. Observing the most powerful feeling is a way to understand ourselves better. Do not be too hard on yourself if it is not happening the first time. Since it can only enhance with time and experience as they are the best life teachers. Our intuitions have a pattern and it often is expressed with our body language or feelings. We need to understand and observe so that we can be aware of when it is warning us to be cautious.

2. Create space for inner voice –

In our busy lives, it is difficult to be an expert on making the right decision without rationally thinking of the consequences. We need to find a quiet space that can help our thoughts in a better manner. It can be done in three ways: prayer, meditation or take a walk alone. Prayer is the most powerful way of spirituality. The mind needs to be calm to find a proper solution and meditation can be the best tool. Meditation helps to realize all the unwanted thoughts towards clarity and self-worth. Last is taking a walk which is not only as an exercise but also when we spend time alone, we tend to reflect more adequately.

Every individual is gifted with the ability to their inner voice. When we hear it that is when our inner wisdom can be manifested. In the end, it will help you have clarity in thoughts, predictable, and better in decision making.

“The more you trust your intuition the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, the happier you become” – Gisele Bundchen

Stay tuned for the next week with a new article. Stay safe and healthy. Keep spreading the positive vibes. 🙂

Practicing Gratitude :)

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty instead of upon your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” Charles Dickens

Growing up we all have been taught plenty of values by our parents. Using golden words of saying “Thank You” was one of them. How often did we keep the same practices today? Does it mean we forgot the values which our parents tried to teach us for being good humans to society? It is never too late to obey them and practice gratitude in our daily life. We must be thankful to the people and things in our lives. This will create a path for inner peace and happiness. America celebrates a “Thanksgiving” holiday where that weekend/month everywhere people were talking about how grateful they were to the people they have. When I celebrated this holiday the first time here, I felt why do we have to remember just one day to be thankful for what we have in life? Why can’t we be thankful towards life in regular intervals whether its weekly if not daily?

We can get away from this materialistic world to a spot where individuals are esteemed more. This pandemic has caused us to reflect on our behavior towards appreciating life. We will look at the world differently when we exchange our expectations for appreciation. 

Why practice Gratitude?

Gratitude is essentially setting some time to reflect and consider all the positive things throughout your life instead of ruminating on the negatives. It does not require telling any other individual you are appreciative of the things they have done. Even though, that makes a difference. Gratitude may be one of the most overlooked tools for towards joy. Research shows it is the single most powerful method of increasing happiness. Having an attitude of gratitude doesn’t cost any money. It doesn’t take much time. 

“A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.” – Eeyore, Winnie the Pooh

Individuals who experience the most appreciation tend to appreciate the contributions of others to their well-being. They also recognize and enjoy life’s small pleasures. They develop a sense of abundance in their lives by expressing gratitude. Regardless of whether being thankful come to you normally, focusing on life’s positives can prepare and train your mind to be appreciate life.

Ways towards practicing gratitude :

  1. Pause and Reflect – A grateful person is a joyful person. People who are lacking happiness wonder about the missing ingredient. When you master gratitude yourself, you will easily recognize that the missing ingredient was: Gratitude. This pandemic could not be a better opportunity to pause, reflect and be thankful for the things we love and the relations we have in our lives.
  2. Maintain a Gratitude journal – Recognizing these things on paper, with words will assist you with developing an attitude of appreciation. And it boosts your levels of happiness. Writing could be hard especially where to start. In today’s world, everything is on our fingertips so I would recommend apps like Reflectly, day one journal, 365 gratitude, Happier. 
  3. Think, Speak, and Act – There is no mystery about how to become a person who mastered the attribute of thankfulness. Think gratefully. Speak gratefully. Act gratefully. When you consistently do these three things, you are consistently thankful. Even before this pattern has become consistent for you, every little bit of thinking, speaking, and acting this way makes you more grateful than if you would not have thought, spoken, or acted this way.

I can conclude that apart from creating happiness, practicing gratitude can have an impact on a person in the following ways:

Personality – Gratitude can help a person can have a strong character trait which leads to being more optimistic in life. It can help to boost self-confidence. Also, a person can be less materialistic where human relations are valued. 

Health– Gratitude can affect a person’s well being with good health and better sleeping patterns.

Emotional – A person’s emotional health is improved by being thankful and kind. There are more positive sentiments and less jealousy in relations. The mind is more relaxed which creates happier memories.

Career– Professional relations can be built by the improved network in the workplace. Goal and targets can be accomplished easily since there is much coordination between coworkers. Who would know that a simple humble behavior can have such a drastic change in the environment?

Social – Gratitude will make you a down to earth person. It will help in increasing the social circle with more networking and friends. 

“Thankfulness has an inner connection with humility. It recognizes that what we are and what we have is due to others and above all, to God.” Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

Let’s practice gratitude towards building a better world. Stay tuned for more in the next blog (next Sunday)! Be kind to spread your aroma in the world! 🙂

Materialistic world

“Our lives are fashioned by our choices. First, we make our choices. Then our choices make us.” – Anne Frank

Are we living in a materialistic world? Do we give importance to things over emotions? Unfortunately, we do and have adapted it as a mandatory trait in society. The materialistic world consists of where people give prestige to reputation, wealth, and all other non-living objects. This type of world which we have built is temporary and fake. It has made society with emptiness without emotions. Everyone just wants to compete and impress to owe some particular brand valuables to show off among their circle. Isn’t that true? There is no end to this toxic attitude which results in jealousy. 

The constant comparison with friends or someone whom you want to show off only causes depression and anxiety. It leads to manipulative behavior which is socially destructive.

If you are a product of a materialistic universe, how is it that you don’t feel at home there? –C. S. Lewis

There can be a thin difference between good and bad materialism. Sometimes there are things which are basic necessities whereas others can be luxurious in order to show prestige. Here are two daily routine habits that most of us go through.

1. Shopping-

How often we shop for the branded and expensive stuff which we need to show off in the next event? If you paused and nodded yes then you will agree it’s a materialistic trait. Gone are the days when we used to shop and not repeat the dresses just because your friends have already seen it. And today during this pandemic we open our wardrobe and see all these branded clothes lying there as it is. Now we all wonder when we will be back to our normal life where we can wear our favorite dress again. The book “Confessions of a Shopaholic” by Sophie Kinsella is the perfect example of this scenario, where the girl gave so much importance for updating her wardrobe by shopping most of the time, that she missed out on the important relations in her life. Shopping can be addictive which will always have a short of contentment. We need to question ourselves “Is the product we are purchasing the real need for the hour? What is the purpose or intension for the purchase?” Often, we invest in things for the sake of social prestige or peer pressure for some bandwagon effect. Can’t we live in simplicity? 

2. Social media –

Of course, we all use it regularly. Before this pandemic, we all had so much to share and post about our life. We depict good positive vibes and happy pictures. But when someone is sad or unhappy in their life, they do not share it or grab attention. Have you thought social media is sometimes (or most of the time) a fake world we try to live in.? It does not mean we have to delete our social media. Like others, I am no different even I am part of the same vicious cycle. But we need to curb the intake of news which pops on our newsfeeds. Also, too much time on our phone makes us miss the present moments. Instead, we should value people who are around us. Human relations are not built by having plenty of friends online but none of them want to talk in real. Isn’t that weird? 

We all can escape this materialistic world to a place where people are valued more. We all know that money can’t buy happiness, yet we chase and try to bribe our fake emotions we show the world. This pandemic has made us self reflect and pause our actions. Let’s elevate ourselves towards practicing gratitude. In the end, it is our relations with others that are more valued than our possessions. I can conclude by the takeaways of:

  1. Being humble is the key to maintain relations.
  2. Being thankful for all valuable people in life.
  3. Building a happy place.
  4. Prioritizing yourself in all situations all the time.
  5. Making a motto in life and you will always be happy.
  6. Appreciating small things happening on a daily basis.

“Acknowledge your gifts and be grateful to the source. Because if you know from whom you are receiving, you can always go back for more.” – Rabbi Noah Weinberg

Hope this was helpful. More intense topics in the next blog. If you haven’t subscribed yet then please do. Till then stay positive and stay strong. Keep loving yourself because in the end its your body and soul which is there with you in all phases of life! 🙂

Navigating Uncertainties!

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” — Albus Dumbledore 

There are going to be dark times and phases where we feel terrible. Sometimes it can lead to feelings of uncertainty in our minds. It can cause emotional stress and anxiety. We tend to lose hope. The ongoing pandemic is one of the phases where most of us are seeing uncertainty in life. We need to learn to navigate it in the proper direction towards the sunshine. Remember, that when nothing is sure everything is possible. 

“Even miracles take a little time.” — Fairy Godmother (Cinderella)

Of course, fairytales and movies have made us believe that after a bad phase there is a twist by some magic which never happens in real life. All we need is to not give up. We cannot see our fairy godmother which is our inner voice guiding us through these uncertain times. And I am sure we all have that just most of the time rename it as our gut feeling. Another example would be when we get a new video game where we do not quit until we find a strategy to crack that level. In the end, we will be stronger n better. We need to climb over the hump and win each day.

“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.” — Bob Goff

Here are six ways which will help to navigate uncertain phases of life:

1.  Surrender by making peace with the situation –

Sometimes it is best to stay calm by not reacting. We need to manipulate the emotion by changing our prospect. Although most of the time we can’t see other options since darkness has blinded us leaving us no hope of sunshine or light. The more we overthink the more we might lead towards negative emotions. as if we are running from the emotion to distract ourselves

2.  Nothing lasts forever –

Everything is a phase that will pass even the darkest times of our life. Take this as a moment of reset by repositioning and reflecting. Journaling can be the best way to express one’s feelings in words. Also when this phase is over we can always read back on what we wrote and value the experience it taught us.

3.  Indulge in new skills –

Distracting one’s brain is like playing games so that it doesn’t get the emotion back. A bad hour will turn into a bad day. Get out of your comfort zone. Why would you run into darkness more when you can do something creative? It can be by learning a new language or new musical instrument or the dance form or simply start a blog as I did.

4.  Self-assessment –

We need to think about the next move or step in life. Every decision we take will determine to change the present into a bright future. We need to maintain our sanity daily. Do not make a rash decision. Reflecting the past is only going to give regrets which cannot be changed. Relax and stay calm by meditation or soft music.

5.  More time for Self Love –

We always advise others but when the same situation is for us we often do not stick to the same solution. Be your hero and rescue yourself. It is very critical to plan a day. Making one highlight for the day will uplift one’s mood. In case you need more ways to self-love please check my previous blog. https://curlyhairdiaries.fitness.blog/2020/04/06/unconditionally-love-yourself/

6.  Consult the expert –

It is always suggested to consult a medical professional. There are plenty of them available in your local areas wherever in the world you are located. Even times of crises the experts are available on phone so don’t hesitate to pick up the call and talk to them as the first step is the most courageous. 

Hope the above are helpful and in case you have more suggestions would like to know in comments or personally reaching out to me.

Stay safe and healthy! More next week 🙂

“You don’t see the world as it is – you see the world as you are”. – The Talmud

Dealing with Difficult people

Human beings are said to be the most adaptable in the environment. During this ongoing worldwide pandemic, we all have been indoors staying with either our parents, kids, siblings, significant other, or roommates. This is the time where we make or break a relationship. In case if someone is not getting along people, they are quarantining with then it could be traumatizing, annoying, and dramatic. It can have a direct effect on one’s mental health. Earlier we had distractions to avoid the conversations or spend time with them but now since we are indoors, we must deal with them daily. We conclude that even if we do not get along with them, in the end, we must put our foot down. Keeping ego aside could be hard and can often end up in fights and arguments. Apart from this situation, we come across difficult people at work. The question arises on how to make peace with them. 

As a Disney fan, I see it as if the person is Grumpy (from the movie Snow White and the seven dwarfs) and you have been acting like Snow White to dealing with them. In the end, patience and kindness change Grumpy’s attitude towards Snow White. In real life, we just keep waiting for the happy ending and we only get disappointed since it never like the fairytales. These difficult people’s vibe affects our mood and day tremendously. 

Here is a list of 3 simple DON’Ts to tackle the situation:

  • Do not be hard on yourself by overthinking or analyzing the situation.
  • Do not gossip or judge a difficult person.
  • Do not take things personally.

“Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a refection of their character, but as a reflection of yours” – Dave Willis

How do we handle these difficult people in our lives? It is easy to get angry being defensive thinking that a strong argument will make us win. But that only makes us foolish and weak since we give them the power to manipulate us. Does that mean we should not express ourselves or views? Sometimes we feel that this difficult person is purposely behaving badly towards us. Possibly starting an argument to seek attention. Every person could be different, and we won’t know what is the truth if there is a lack of communication.

The following 5 suggestions might be helpful:

1. Empathy & Forgiveness –

Every person has grown up in a different environment that impacts a person’s behavior. Being empathetic to a person is a critical step if you want to build a relationship. Understanding the reason what makes them angry or annoyed situation. Be courageous enough to forgive a person. Keeping a grudge will only make the present and future worst to tolerate each other.

2. Let it go to choose peace –

Remark from a difficult person can trigger our mind. We need to stay calm. We give life to what we give our energy to so choose wisely. There is no point in changing a difficult person since they are always very stubborn to budge. 

3. Kill them with kindness –

Instead of giving someone a taste of their own medicine, it is better to deal with them with kindness. Acts of kindness can be in the form of cooking or cleaning or something which will make them happy. Redirect your energy to good and positive. When you see your worth, you will find it hard to be with people who don’t.

4. Silence is gold –

Sometimes the best way in an argument is to stay silent. In that way, most of the times smart people win an argument. There is a psychological trigger to the person who is angry that why the other person is not reacting or having a counter-argument. Also, it is a waste of energy since the other person is never going to understand your views. 

5. Set limits and boundaries –

Some people can be very rude towards us. The words can hurt us affecting our self-esteem. We have the right to protect ourselves and tell the person “Please don’t talk to me this way” Communication is a way to let the difficult person know that they are entering your territory. It is okay and not selfish to put yourself first. 

I am sure everyone has learnt their tactics to deal with such a situation. Are you a person who will give an eye for an eye or do something else? Let me know in the comments section or personally.

I hope you stay strong and brave to deal with this (unusual) phase. Be healthy and safe. More in the next blog. 

“Our greatest ability as humans is not to change the world but to change ourselves.”

Mahatma Gandhi

Insomnia = A Hidden Threat

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” — Benjamin Franklin

Our teachers have always told us the above saying. Question is how many of us follow it for real especially while adulting? Most of us quarantining has been binge-watching or eating till late which has caused poor sleeping patterns. All of a sudden we have a new routine where our sleeping pattern affects tremendously.

Insomnia is the inability to sleep. It can be either not falling asleep in the usual sleeping hours or waking up in the middle of the night. If you or someone you know is facing it then this article will help to get a good night’s sleep. The causes behind insomnia can be stress and anxiety. Stressing out happens because of an external source where we give the power to control our minds. Reasons can be related either personally or professionally. In the end, it has a direct impact on mental health.

A Disney fan (like me) will relate this to the movie “Monsters Inc” where the only difference will be that these monsters are around us as hidden threats. These monsters do not allow us to sleep in the night and bring more negativity leading to overthinking. In case you have a bad dream and wake up in the middle of the night, then count 1,2,3,4,5 and then 5,4,3,2,1 to break the act of interpretation and fall back to sleep.

Research shows that if we form a good sleeping habit by the following simple ways:

  1. Having a daily routine to slow down and sleep :
    • Taking a bath – warm water
    • Having a warm drink (water or milk if you can handle dairy)
    • Lowering the room lights
    • Soft sleep playlist
    • Praying and have gratitude
  2. Training your mind what time to sleep and wake up.
  3. Watching the caffeine content and try to cut off any consumption after 3 pm.
  4. Keeping all electronics away two hours before sleeping since the blue rays affect the eyes.
  5. Eating a light dinner.
  6. Meditation is the best way to calm down.

We can boost our sleeping pattern by eating healthy. Several foods may help to fall asleep since they contain sleep-regulating hormones and brain chemicals, including melatonin and serotonin. These types of foods have high amounts of specific antioxidants and nutrients, such as magnesium, that are known to enhance sleep by helping you fall asleep faster or stay asleep longer. Study shows that it is recommended to consume the following food before sleeping – almonds, banana, kiwi, walnuts, white rice, milk, cottage cheese, oatmeal, passionflower tea, turkey.

Sleep is the best meditation. Hope the above tips will be useful and let me know in the comment section if there are more which you practice. Have a goodnight’s sleep!

Trapped!!

It’s been a month now that we are quarantining. Today, most of us are feeling imprisoned at home because of the worldwide pandemic. Our normal routine has a drastic change. We are somewhere bound to stress out on the situation. In the end, we are tending to give power to other sources (bad news on the internet) for controlling our present mood. Currently, we are physically (quarantining), or emotionally trapped because of the relationships around. It is an unpleasant emotion that is hard to express in words. Feeling entrapped can relate to being stuck and helpless. As if we are locked in a cage where the keys are lost and no one is coming to rescue us. Like any other negative emotion, this only multiplies leading to depression.

Putting our energy in the right direction is crucial. In case of being emotionally trapped, we need to analyze the situation and think of possible rational solutions. Saying no to pain and prioritizing ones mental health is important. Trying not to be too hard on yourself by blaming yourself for landing up in a terrible situation. Remember the situation is bad which makes people bad. People tend to react differently given the same conditions and situations.

We need to change our prospects of life situations. Planning goals for the day is a small start to the day. Once we have that in our mind we can be productive. Either think about the next day before bed or when you wake up so that you are excited about the new task of the day. It can be merely clearing the clutter or cooking a new recipe or something else which can be the highlight of the day. Making each day count matters. Seeing the light in the darkness will help to drive the negativity away. You can also choose to write down your task of the day. I believe that is a way to reflect and read your feeling or situations. In case you find writing difficult then you can find the app “Reflect” which has preset questions. All you need to do is answer the questions and it will help you to know the highlight of the day.

Self-talk is another aspect that can be helpful. Training your mind is a way to develop the optimistic side of life. Instead of saying a negative sentence how about, we replace it with positive affirmation which have a bright side and hope. For instance, these sentences can be approached in a positive manner :

  • Negative -“I have never done it before” turn into positive-” Its an opportunity to learn something new.”
  • Negative – “It is too complicated” should be “I will tackle it from a different angle”
  • Negative -“Everything is boring during this quarantine.” can be seen as “Its time to be productive and focusing on building my happy place”

Practicing positive thinking will lead to positive outcomes. It is always easy to say but taking the first step is most difficult. Once you do then it will add good vibes around. Benefits of positive thinking are as follows:

  1. Increases life span.
  2. Lower rate of depression and level of distress.
  3. It helps to cope with skills during hardships and times of stress.
  4. Healthy mind and body.

Let us all add more positivity in this world by taking small steps towards ourselves. Remember the power is within you! More in my next post till then stay healthy and safe. 🙂

“Faith means living with uncertainty – feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark. “

Dan Miller

Unconditionally Love Yourself

When was the last time you paused and showed appreciation for yourself? How often do you repeat it? We live in a society where we have been taught to care and do things for others. It is not not at all wrong to think as a community and build the society but the question is are we loosing ourselves in the process to serve others?

Social media has been giving all types of repetitive advice to practice self love during this pandemic which is going worldwide. Most of the people perhaps must be doing it now. In case someone doesn’t then hopefully these post might be helpful which is a short gist my views on loving yourself.

Is Self Love being to be selfish and turning into a narcissist ?

No! Self love doesn’t mean you have to look into mirror and praise your beauty. If someone does it then they are turning a narcissist and not thinking about anyone else. Self love is acknowledging one’s needs and prioritizing them over others. The art of self love is to be aware of the environment and being humble with one’s actions. Staying grounded is the extra factor which can totally change one’s attitude towards being selfish or simply having high standards. It is essential to know the difference between self love and narcissist. If ones gut feeling says something has a harmful outcome then it’s not self love.

Self Love is a form of:

  • Having self discipline will develop a sense of accomplishment or happiness. Managing our mind the way we think reflects to how we feel and how we behave.
  • Practicing self care towards all three -body, mind and soul without neglecting or harming any of them.
  • Empowering self worth will result in self esteem in a long run.
  • Developing self awareness will help to overcome from danger or repetitive life problem cycle
  • Boosting self confidence talking to yourself. Self affirmations can include:
    • I am worthy, you can do this
    • I am the strongest warrior
    • I deserve happiness
    • I am whole and complete
    • I am an amazing person
    • I celebrate my individuality
    • Positivity is a choice.

According to me some of the basic rules to love yourself unconditionally are as follows (in no specific importance or order):

  1. Embracing and maintaining your individuality
  2. Building your happy place
  3. Stop worrying what will others think
  4. Filtering your circle / environment with good vibes
  5. Learning to let go and forgive people from the past
  6. Knowing the type of music which uplifts your mood
  7. Saying NO to tasks / people / results which don’t make you happy-
  8. Finding ME time on daily basis even if its ten minutes
  9. Be kind to yourself
  10. Self talk and reflecting your day with actions

I am sure there are plenty little things in our daily routine which we can add in this list towards unconditionally loving yourself.

More in my next post! Keep smiling and spreading the positive vibes 🙂

“When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.” 

Paulo Coelho

Overcoming Loneliness! :)

During the pandemic, most of us have faced loneliness of being quarantining in our houses. As humans it’s normal to crave for attention. There is a direct relationship between loneliness and depression. The more lonely you feel the more depressed you’ll be for need for having company. Both are negative energy which tend to multiply causing harm to our mental health. Happiness is a strong positive vibe which can drive the darkness of loneliness away.

It’s always easy to advise others but when it comes to implementing the same for us we procrastinate. In this phase of despair, the human race has been encouraging each other to stand united. We all are together in this. And each one has paused their life. It is the time where there is a thin line between indulging and building your lifestyle better or ruining it with bad habits which will be harmful for your physical and mental health.

Loneliness can be physical as well mental. We need to overcome this negative energy. Here are some ways which can be helpful.

1. Write down your thoughts – Over thinking is normal behavior. First we need to direct our thoughts in right channel so that once the direction is proper we will end up in the correct path. Our thoughts can vary from person to person depending on our circle of people we spend most time with. Habits also are part of thought process. When you start journaling things which are going in your mind, it will help to know the root cause of this situation. Start with having two separate pages or divide the page into two side. One side note only the good and positive feeling about this phase. Mention how would you guide yourself out of it by thinking of solutions. Because in the end it’s your decision to stay in the dark or get up and walk away towards the light. In the other side express your vulnerability and negativity. Let all those emotions flow out. There is a rule for this exercise. For every one negative thing you add, you’ll have to add two positive things on the other side. Initially it will be difficult since we have only negativity. But eventually you’ll learn to chase the light.

2. Listen to a podcast – In today’s world everything is available online on the internet. There so plenty of people to inspire us. Find the podcast which elevates your current situation and will pull you up towards positivity. In case you think podcast are too long and you don’t want something short then I would recommend to listen “7 Good minutes self improvement podcast” by Clyde Lee Dennis. This podcast is only seven minutes long. I’m sure we can give at least 7 minutes while we multitask our busy life routine. Another few podcasts which I would suggest are:

  • “Empower Her” Kacia Fitzgerald
  • “Unf*ck Your Brain” by Kara Loewentheil
  • “Earn Your Happy” by Lori Harder
  • “Positively unlimited podcast” by Chetna.

I am pretty sure there are more podcasts which you might have heard so please feel free to comment it below and share it with others.

3. Talk to the people whom inspire you – Most of us have a friend circle which are mood booster. In case you feel drained after talking to your friends then perhaps they are not pushing you towards your best potential. Maybe you need to change your environment. Have people who elevate your self confidence. After talking to them you should not feel drained.

4. Clean the clutter- We have been so busy in our lives that we often do not clean and tidy our rooms regularly. Decluttering helps to make room for new arrangements. Also mentally we have a sense of feeling lighter.

5. Don’t go back to past or toxic relationships – We often feel lonely when we give the power to the other person for our happiness. We forget that happiness lies within us. Do not try to mend to past bond which was broken for a reason. In case of a recent breakup, contacting your ex during the times of loneliness is never a good idea. Remember, you miss the feeling you shared not the person who wasn’t the way you thought it would work out.

6. Indulge in new hobby – Its never too late to learn something new. If you are confused what could you possibly do perhaps this list might be useful – learn a musical instrument, dancing, singing, workout or exercise, knitting, painting (glass painting, pot painting, canvas painting), reading, cooking, learning a new language, origami, embroidery, paper quilling, etc.

7. Self assurance- Talking to yourself can be helpful. I know it sounds crazy but I have tried it personally. It helps to calm down and relax along with boosting self confidence.

8. Draw patterns – There is a remedy to calm down our anxiety by drawing. No one is an artist but we all have doodled in that boring lecture in school. Did you know that even following patterns of lines and shapes can be a destress? Drawing zentangles (picture of what I have drawn below) includes different patterns in every box. In the end it’s beautiful to see how the artwork turns out to be artist.

8. Ask a consultant – I am not an expert to advise full proof ways. You can always consult a therapist or consultant who help you out. I am sure they have an expert opinion on recommending solutions of overcoming loneliness.

“Don’t let the past blackmail your present to ruin a beautiful future”

Shah Rukh Khan, Dear Zindagi (Bollywood movie)

    Stay tuned for more post till then stay happy and safe. Be a source to spread the positive vibes. 🙂

    Inner Peace :)

    Our priorities have changed by focusing more on physical health than our mental health. Stress, worry and depression are being part of our lives. And we don’t need such negativity which constantly pulls us down. We need to uplift ourselves. Finding inner peace is what we need to do when we seek happiness.

    There are five easy steps we can take towards mindfulness while dealing with worries and uncertainty in life.

    1. Improve sleeping patterns – Our mind and body have a direct relationship with sleep. If our body doesn’t get enough sleep then our mind won’t be able to function properly. A healthy mindfulness begins having a goodnight sleep. In case someone is facing difficulty sleeping try the following :

    • Eat a light and early dinner
    • Drink a warm milk
    • Plan your morning routine in advance
    • Keep electronic devices aside ( phone, TV, computer, social media etc)
    • Practice deep breathing exercise

    2. Acceptance – Stop stressing about the problem. Overthinking will only drain your energy. Instead convert that energy into positive vibes. It will help for spreading around hope and harmony. Train our mind to accept the circumstances. Unless we calm our mind, there will always be panic in it. Accepting the present situation helps cultivating a sense of inner peace. When we attained that peace, we have a calm mind and strength. This will result in having less anxiety or fear. Focus on the positive aspect in any situation as it will help you find the sunshine in the darkness. Chase the light of hope.

    3. Meditation– Practicing meditation will help to find inner peace for calming our mind that has plenty of thoughts going on all the time. Allow your mind relax and calm down. Download a guided meditation podcast (Daily meditation podcast by Mary Meckley) or app (Insight Timer ) or find it on YouTube. Each one has a different music (zen music, flowing water, nature, birds, etc) to calm themselves. Personally I like zen music but each one of us might like something else. Until you try to meditate, you won’t know which one instantly calms your mind. Do not let negativity of the uncertainty phase pull you down in any manner. While meditation say a positive affirmation to yourself. It will help to boost self confidence. Repeat it in your mind. It’s a secret to manifest a goal.

    4. Eating healthy – The body and mind are interconnected. We need to take care of both by using our inner power to choose whether we eat healthy or not. In my earlier post, I have mentioned types of food will boost our immune system.

    5. Pray – Regardless of our religion, we all bow our heads to the creator of the world. Do not give up on the hope in yourself. In the end miracles will happen and things will get better. Pray towards spiritual guidance and to receive strength for overcoming this phase of life.

    “Anything is possible when you have inner peace”

    Master Shifu, Kung Fu Panda, Disney

    Make every attempt to spread the positive vibe! More in next blog. Stay tuned 🙂

    Prioritizing Health is Self Care! :)

    Irrespective of any problems or challenges one is facing, we are now struggling with a common issue of COVID-19. All of a sudden everyone has paused their daily busy routine and have begun to focus on themselves. Everyone is now washing hands regularly and practicing self care to the highest possible manner. With this change in routine many companies have granted permission to their employees to work remotely aka work from home. There is panic and stress surrounding us. We should stand and support each other in this phase of uncertainty.

    Our generation has been so time oriented that we add all the appointments in our calendars. We like to schedule ahead with a specific target to be achieved in that particular time frame. When things don’t go as planned we tend to panic and we do not accept the uncertain events. We need to learn to stay calm and embrace the situation to find the hidden mystery in this uncertainty.

    Apart for the instruction of washing hands regularly, we should focus to build our immune system much stronger for resistance. Since most of us have been home, we can try simple home remedies (Ayurveda) to keep ourselves healthier. A balanced diet is the core foundation of staying healthy. It’s never too late for switching to healthy eating options. There are easily available ingredient in our kitchen. These can be included in our appetite to build a strong immune system.

    We should add foods which are all rich in Vitamin A, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Zinc & Selenium.

    • Fruits – papaya, dried dates, orange.
    • Nuts & Oilseeds – almonds, sesame seeds, black sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, flaxseeds.
    • Spices – garlic, ginger, parsley, mint leaves, turmeric, cinnamon.
    • Vegetables – carrots, bell peppers, celery, sweet potato.
    • Grains – lentils, beans, black eye peas.
    • Whole eggs

    In order to boost your immunity, we need to first ensure that we don’t have a deficiency of any single nutrient. Vitamin D, B12, Iron are some of the most common deficiencies right now. Taking the following supplements daily of Vitamin C , Vitamin D, Zinc for the next 2-3 weeks to keep your immunity up.

    Drinking tea can be another way to boost your endurance. Lemon ginger tea is a simple, soothing, and effective immune booster that you can make in just a few minutes. Ginger is known for its medicinal properties, including a high level of antioxidants. Lemon contain high levels of vitamin C and all of which will enhance your immunity. In short, a warm cup of lemon ginger tea is an effective (and tasty) way to boost your immune system and keep you feeling healthy.

    Sleeping patterns also have a huge impact on our immunity system. Make sure you get 7-8 hours of sleep regularly. The body needs rest so that it can function properly. Avoid staying awake during sleeping hours. Listen to your body.

    “To keep the body in good health is a duty, otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”

    Buddha

    Take that extra care towards loving yourself a little more. A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Its never too late to focus on self care. More in the next blog! Stay tuned.

    Be Safe. Stay healthy and strong! 🙂

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