Finding the love within...

Navigating Uncertainties!

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” — Albus Dumbledore

There are going to be dark times and phases where we feel terrible. Sometimes it can lead to feelings of uncertainty in our minds. It can cause emotional stress and anxiety. We tend to lose hope. The ongoing pandemic is one of the phases where most of us are seeing uncertainty in life. We need to learn to navigate it in the proper direction towards the sunshine. Remember, that when nothing is sure everything is possible.

“Even miracles take a little time.” — Fairy Godmother (Cinderella)

Of course, fairytales and movies have made us believe that after a bad phase there is a twist by some magic which never happens in real life. All we need is to not give up. We cannot see our fairy godmother which is our inner voice guiding us through these uncertain times. And I am sure we all have that just most of the time rename it as our gut feeling. Another example would be when we get a new video game where we do not quit until we find a strategy to crack that level. In the end, we will be stronger n better. We need to climb over the hump and win each day.

“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.” — Bob Goff

Here are six ways which will help to navigate uncertain phases of life:

1. Surrender by making peace with the situation –

Sometimes it is best to stay calm by not reacting. We need to manipulate the emotion by changing our prospect. Although most of the time we can’t see other options since darkness has blinded us leaving us no hope of sunshine or light. The more we overthink the more we might lead towards negative emotions. as if we are running from the emotion to distract ourselves

2. Nothing lasts forever –

Everything is a phase that will pass even the darkest times of our life. Take this as a moment of reset by repositioning and reflecting. Journaling can be the best way to express one’s feelings in words. Also when this phase is over we can always read back on what we wrote and value the experience it taught us.

3. Indulge in new skills –

Distracting one’s brain is like playing games so that it doesn’t get the emotion back. A bad hour will turn into a bad day. Get out of your comfort zone. Why would you run into darkness more when you can do something creative? It can be by learning a new language or new musical instrument or the dance form or simply start a blog as I did.

4. Self-assessment –

We need to think about the next move or step in life. Every decision we take will determine to change the present into a bright future. We need to maintain our sanity daily. Do not make a rash decision. Reflecting the past is only going to give regrets which cannot be changed. Relax and stay calm by meditation or soft music.

5. More time for Self Love –

We always advise others but when the same situation is for us we often do not stick to the same solution. Be your hero and rescue yourself. It is very critical to plan a day. Making one highlight for the day will uplift one’s mood. In case you need more ways to self-love please check my previous blog. https://curlyhairdiaries.fitness.blog/2020/04/06/unconditionally-love-yourself/

6. Consult the expert –

It is always suggested to consult a medical professional. There are plenty of them available in your local areas wherever in the world you are located. Even times of crises the experts are available on phone so don’t hesitate to pick up the call and talk to them as the first step is the most courageous.

Hope the above are helpful and in case you have more suggestions would like to know in comments or personally reaching out to me.

Stay safe and healthy! More next week 🙂

“You don’t see the world as it is – you see the world as you are”. – The Talmud

Dealing with Difficult people

Human beings are said to be the most adaptable in the environment. During this ongoing worldwide pandemic, we all have been indoors staying with either our parents, kids, siblings, significant other, or roommates. This is the time where we make or break a relationship. In case if someone is not getting along people, they are quarantining with then it could be traumatizing, annoying, and dramatic. It can have a direct effect on one’s mental health. Earlier we had distractions to avoid the conversations or spend time with them but now since we are indoors, we must deal with them daily. We conclude that even if we do not get along with them, in the end, we must put our foot down. Keeping ego aside could be hard and can often end up in fights and arguments. Apart from this situation, we come across difficult people at work. The question arises on how to make peace with them.

As a Disney fan, I see it as if the person is Grumpy (from the movie Snow White and the seven dwarfs) and you have been acting like Snow White to dealing with them. In the end, patience and kindness change Grumpy’s attitude towards Snow White. In real life, we just keep waiting for the happy ending and we only get disappointed since it never like the fairytales. These difficult people’s vibe affects our mood and day tremendously.

Here is a list of 3 simple DON’Ts to tackle the situation:

Do not be hard on yourself by overthinking or analyzing the situation.
Do not gossip or judge a difficult person.
Do not take things personally.

“Show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a refection of their character, but as a reflection of yours” – Dave Willis

How do we handle these difficult people in our lives? It is easy to get angry being defensive thinking that a strong argument will make us win. But that only makes us foolish and weak since we give them the power to manipulate us. Does that mean we should not express ourselves or views? Sometimes we feel that this difficult person is purposely behaving badly towards us. Possibly starting an argument to seek attention. Every person could be different, and we won’t know what is the truth if there is a lack of communication.

The following 5 suggestions might be helpful:

1. Empathy & Forgiveness –

Every person has grown up in a different environment that impacts a person’s behavior. Being empathetic to a person is a critical step if you want to build a relationship. Understanding the reason what makes them angry or annoyed situation. Be courageous enough to forgive a person. Keeping a grudge will only make the present and future worst to tolerate each other.

2. Let it go to choose peace –

Remark from a difficult person can trigger our mind. We need to stay calm. We give life to what we give our energy to so choose wisely. There is no point in changing a difficult person since they are always very stubborn to budge.

3. Kill them with kindness –

Instead of giving someone a taste of their own medicine, it is better to deal with them with kindness. Acts of kindness can be in the form of cooking or cleaning or something which will make them happy. Redirect your energy to good and positive. When you see your worth, you will find it hard to be with people who don’t.

4. Silence is gold –

Sometimes the best way in an argument is to stay silent. In that way, most of the times smart people win an argument. There is a psychological trigger to the person who is angry that why the other person is not reacting or having a counter-argument. Also, it is a waste of energy since the other person is never going to understand your views.

5. Set limits and boundaries –

Some people can be very rude towards us. The words can hurt us affecting our self-esteem. We have the right to protect ourselves and tell the person “Please don’t talk to me this way” Communication is a way to let the difficult person know that they are entering your territory. It is okay and not selfish to put yourself first.

I am sure everyone has learnt their tactics to deal with such a situation. Are you a person who will give an eye for an eye or do something else? Let me know in the comments section or personally.

I hope you stay strong and brave to deal with this (unusual) phase. Be healthy and safe. More in the next blog.

“Our greatest ability as humans is not to change the world but to change ourselves.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Insomnia = A Hidden Threat

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” — Benjamin Franklin

Our teachers have always told us the above saying. Question is how many of us follow it for real especially while adulting? Most of us quarantining has been binge-watching or eating till late which has caused poor sleeping patterns. All of a sudden we have a new routine where our sleeping pattern affects tremendously.

Insomnia is the inability to sleep. It can be either not falling asleep in the usual sleeping hours or waking up in the middle of the night. If you or someone you know is facing it then this article will help to get a good night’s sleep. The causes behind insomnia can be stress and anxiety. Stressing out happens because of an external source where we give the power to control our minds. Reasons can be related either personally or professionally. In the end, it has a direct impact on mental health.

A Disney fan (like me) will relate this to the movie “Monsters Inc” where the only difference will be that these monsters are around us as hidden threats. These monsters do not allow us to sleep in the night and bring more negativity leading to overthinking. In case you have a bad dream and wake up in the middle of the night, then count 1,2,3,4,5 and then 5,4,3,2,1 to break the act of interpretation and fall back to sleep.

Research shows that if we form a good sleeping habit by the following simple ways:

Having a daily routine to slow down and sleep :
- Taking a bath – warm water
- Having a warm drink (water or milk if you can handle dairy)
- Lowering the room lights
- Soft sleep playlist
- Praying and have gratitude
Training your mind what time to sleep and wake up.
Watching the caffeine content and try to cut off any consumption after 3 pm.
Keeping all electronics away two hours before sleeping since the blue rays affect the eyes.
Eating a light dinner.
Meditation is the best way to calm down.

We can boost our sleeping pattern by eating healthy. Several foods may help to fall asleep since they contain sleep-regulating hormones and brain chemicals, including melatonin and serotonin. These types of foods have high amounts of specific antioxidants and nutrients, such as magnesium, that are known to enhance sleep by helping you fall asleep faster or stay asleep longer. Study shows that it is recommended to consume the following food before sleeping – almonds, banana, kiwi, walnuts, white rice, milk, cottage cheese, oatmeal, passionflower tea, turkey.

Sleep is the best meditation. Hope the above tips will be useful and let me know in the comment section if there are more which you practice. Have a goodnight’s sleep!

Trapped!!

It’s been a month now that we are quarantining. Today, most of us are feeling imprisoned at home because of the worldwide pandemic. Our normal routine has a drastic change. We are somewhere bound to stress out on the situation. In the end, we are tending to give power to other sources (bad news on the internet) for controlling our present mood. Currently, we are physically (quarantining), or emotionally trapped because of the relationships around. It is an unpleasant emotion that is hard to express in words. Feeling entrapped can relate to being stuck and helpless. As if we are locked in a cage where the keys are lost and no one is coming to rescue us. Like any other negative emotion, this only multiplies leading to depression.

Putting our energy in the right direction is crucial. In case of being emotionally trapped, we need to analyze the situation and think of possible rational solutions. Saying no to pain and prioritizing ones mental health is important. Trying not to be too hard on yourself by blaming yourself for landing up in a terrible situation. Remember the situation is bad which makes people bad. People tend to react differently given the same conditions and situations.

We need to change our prospects of life situations. Planning goals for the day is a small start to the day. Once we have that in our mind we can be productive. Either think about the next day before bed or when you wake up so that you are excited about the new task of the day. It can be merely clearing the clutter or cooking a new recipe or something else which can be the highlight of the day. Making each day count matters. Seeing the light in the darkness will help to drive the negativity away. You can also choose to write down your task of the day. I believe that is a way to reflect and read your feeling or situations. In case you find writing difficult then you can find the app “Reflect” which has preset questions. All you need to do is answer the questions and it will help you to know the highlight of the day.

Self-talk is another aspect that can be helpful. Training your mind is a way to develop the optimistic side of life. Instead of saying a negative sentence how about, we replace it with positive affirmation which have a bright side and hope. For instance, these sentences can be approached in a positive manner :

Negative -“I have never done it before” turn into positive-” Its an opportunity to learn something new.”
Negative – “It is too complicated” should be “I will tackle it from a different angle”
Negative -“Everything is boring during this quarantine.” can be seen as “Its time to be productive and focusing on building my happy place”

Practicing positive thinking will lead to positive outcomes. It is always easy to say but taking the first step is most difficult. Once you do then it will add good vibes around. Benefits of positive thinking are as follows:

Increases life span.
Lower rate of depression and level of distress.
It helps to cope with skills during hardships and times of stress.
Healthy mind and body.

Let us all add more positivity in this world by taking small steps towards ourselves. Remember the power is within you! More in my next post till then stay healthy and safe. 🙂

“Faith means living with uncertainty – feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark. “
Dan Miller

Unconditionally Love Yourself

When was the last time you paused and showed appreciation for yourself? How often do you repeat it? We live in a society where we have been taught to care and do things for others. It is not not at all wrong to think as a community and build the society but the question is are we loosing ourselves in the process to serve others?

Social media has been giving all types of repetitive advice to practice self love during this pandemic which is going worldwide. Most of the people perhaps must be doing it now. In case someone doesn’t then hopefully these post might be helpful which is a short gist my views on loving yourself.

Is Self Love being to be selfish and turning into a narcissist ?

No! Self love doesn’t mean you have to look into mirror and praise your beauty. If someone does it then they are turning a narcissist and not thinking about anyone else. Self love is acknowledging one’s needs and prioritizing them over others. The art of self love is to be aware of the environment and being humble with one’s actions. Staying grounded is the extra factor which can totally change one’s attitude towards being selfish or simply having high standards. It is essential to know the difference between self love and narcissist. If ones gut feeling says something has a harmful outcome then it’s not self love.

Self Love is a form of:

Having self discipline will develop a sense of accomplishment or happiness. Managing our mind the way we think reflects to how we feel and how we behave.
Practicing self care towards all three -body, mind and soul without neglecting or harming any of them.
Empowering self worth will result in self esteem in a long run.
Developing self awareness will help to overcome from danger or repetitive life problem cycle
Boosting self confidence talking to yourself. Self affirmations can include:
- I am worthy, you can do this
- I am the strongest warrior
- I deserve happiness
- I am whole and complete
- I am an amazing person
- I celebrate my individuality
- Positivity is a choice.

According to me some of the basic rules to love yourself unconditionally are as follows (in no specific importance or order):

Embracing and maintaining your individuality
Building your happy place
Stop worrying what will others think
Filtering your circle / environment with good vibes
Learning to let go and forgive people from the past
Knowing the type of music which uplifts your mood
Saying NO to tasks / people / results which don’t make you happy-
Finding ME time on daily basis even if its ten minutes
Be kind to yourself
Self talk and reflecting your day with actions

I am sure there are plenty little things in our daily routine which we can add in this list towards unconditionally loving yourself.

More in my next post! Keep smiling and spreading the positive vibes 🙂

“When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.”
Paulo Coelho

Overcoming Loneliness! :)

During the pandemic, most of us have faced loneliness of being quarantining in our houses. As humans it’s normal to crave for attention. There is a direct relationship between loneliness and depression. The more lonely you feel the more depressed you’ll be for need for having company. Both are negative energy which tend to multiply causing harm to our mental health. Happiness is a strong positive vibe which can drive the darkness of loneliness away.

It’s always easy to advise others but when it comes to implementing the same for us we procrastinate. In this phase of despair, the human race has been encouraging each other to stand united. We all are together in this. And each one has paused their life. It is the time where there is a thin line between indulging and building your lifestyle better or ruining it with bad habits which will be harmful for your physical and mental health.

Loneliness can be physical as well mental. We need to overcome this negative energy. Here are some ways which can be helpful.

1. Write down your thoughts – Over thinking is normal behavior. First we need to direct our thoughts in right channel so that once the direction is proper we will end up in the correct path. Our thoughts can vary from person to person depending on our circle of people we spend most time with. Habits also are part of thought process. When you start journaling things which are going in your mind, it will help to know the root cause of this situation. Start with having two separate pages or divide the page into two side. One side note only the good and positive feeling about this phase. Mention how would you guide yourself out of it by thinking of solutions. Because in the end it’s your decision to stay in the dark or get up and walk away towards the light. In the other side express your vulnerability and negativity. Let all those emotions flow out. There is a rule for this exercise. For every one negative thing you add, you’ll have to add two positive things on the other side. Initially it will be difficult since we have only negativity. But eventually you’ll learn to chase the light.

2. Listen to a podcast – In today’s world everything is available online on the internet. There so plenty of people to inspire us. Find the podcast which elevates your current situation and will pull you up towards positivity. In case you think podcast are too long and you don’t want something short then I would recommend to listen “7 Good minutes self improvement podcast” by Clyde Lee Dennis. This podcast is only seven minutes long. I’m sure we can give at least 7 minutes while we multitask our busy life routine. Another few podcasts which I would suggest are:

“Empower Her” Kacia Fitzgerald
“Unf*ck Your Brain” by Kara Loewentheil
“Earn Your Happy” by Lori Harder
“Positively unlimited podcast” by Chetna.

I am pretty sure there are more podcasts which you might have heard so please feel free to comment it below and share it with others.

3. Talk to the people whom inspire you – Most of us have a friend circle which are mood booster. In case you feel drained after talking to your friends then perhaps they are not pushing you towards your best potential. Maybe you need to change your environment. Have people who elevate your self confidence. After talking to them you should not feel drained.

4. Clean the clutter- We have been so busy in our lives that we often do not clean and tidy our rooms regularly. Decluttering helps to make room for new arrangements. Also mentally we have a sense of feeling lighter.

5. Don’t go back to past or toxic relationships – We often feel lonely when we give the power to the other person for our happiness. We forget that happiness lies within us. Do not try to mend to past bond which was broken for a reason. In case of a recent breakup, contacting your ex during the times of loneliness is never a good idea. Remember, you miss the feeling you shared not the person who wasn’t the way you thought it would work out.

6. Indulge in new hobby – Its never too late to learn something new. If you are confused what could you possibly do perhaps this list might be useful – learn a musical instrument, dancing, singing, workout or exercise, knitting, painting (glass painting, pot painting, canvas painting), reading, cooking, learning a new language, origami, embroidery, paper quilling, etc.

7. Self assurance- Talking to yourself can be helpful. I know it sounds crazy but I have tried it personally. It helps to calm down and relax along with boosting self confidence.

8. Draw patterns – There is a remedy to calm down our anxiety by drawing. No one is an artist but we all have doodled in that boring lecture in school. Did you know that even following patterns of lines and shapes can be a destress? Drawing zentangles (picture of what I have drawn below) includes different patterns in every box. In the end it’s beautiful to see how the artwork turns out to be artist.

8. Ask a consultant – I am not an expert to advise full proof ways. You can always consult a therapist or consultant who help you out. I am sure they have an expert opinion on recommending solutions of overcoming loneliness.

“Don’t let the past blackmail your present to ruin a beautiful future”
Shah Rukh Khan, Dear Zindagi (Bollywood movie)

Stay tuned for more post till then stay happy and safe. Be a source to spread the positive vibes. 🙂

Inner Peace :)

Our priorities have changed by focusing more on physical health than our mental health. Stress, worry and depression are being part of our lives. And we don’t need such negativity which constantly pulls us down. We need to uplift ourselves. Finding inner peace is what we need to do when we seek happiness.

There are five easy steps we can take towards mindfulness while dealing with worries and uncertainty in life.

1. Improve sleeping patterns – Our mind and body have a direct relationship with sleep. If our body doesn’t get enough sleep then our mind won’t be able to function properly. A healthy mindfulness begins having a goodnight sleep. In case someone is facing difficulty sleeping try the following :

Eat a light and early dinner
Drink a warm milk
Plan your morning routine in advance
Keep electronic devices aside ( phone, TV, computer, social media etc)
Practice deep breathing exercise

2. Acceptance – Stop stressing about the problem. Overthinking will only drain your energy. Instead convert that energy into positive vibes. It will help for spreading around hope and harmony. Train our mind to accept the circumstances. Unless we calm our mind, there will always be panic in it. Accepting the present situation helps cultivating a sense of inner peace. When we attained that peace, we have a calm mind and strength. This will result in having less anxiety or fear. Focus on the positive aspect in any situation as it will help you find the sunshine in the darkness. Chase the light of hope.

3. Meditation– Practicing meditation will help to find inner peace for calming our mind that has plenty of thoughts going on all the time. Allow your mind relax and calm down. Download a guided meditation podcast (Daily meditation podcast by Mary Meckley) or app (Insight Timer ) or find it on YouTube. Each one has a different music (zen music, flowing water, nature, birds, etc) to calm themselves. Personally I like zen music but each one of us might like something else. Until you try to meditate, you won’t know which one instantly calms your mind. Do not let negativity of the uncertainty phase pull you down in any manner. While meditation say a positive affirmation to yourself. It will help to boost self confidence. Repeat it in your mind. It’s a secret to manifest a goal.

4. Eating healthy – The body and mind are interconnected. We need to take care of both by using our inner power to choose whether we eat healthy or not. In my earlier post, I have mentioned types of food will boost our immune system.

5. Pray – Regardless of our religion, we all bow our heads to the creator of the world. Do not give up on the hope in yourself. In the end miracles will happen and things will get better. Pray towards spiritual guidance and to receive strength for overcoming this phase of life.

“Anything is possible when you have inner peace”
Master Shifu, Kung Fu Panda, Disney

Make every attempt to spread the positive vibe! More in next blog. Stay tuned 🙂

Prioritizing Health is Self Care! :)

Irrespective of any problems or challenges one is facing, we are now struggling with a common issue of COVID-19. All of a sudden everyone has paused their daily busy routine and have begun to focus on themselves. Everyone is now washing hands regularly and practicing self care to the highest possible manner. With this change in routine many companies have granted permission to their employees to work remotely aka work from home. There is panic and stress surrounding us. We should stand and support each other in this phase of uncertainty.

Our generation has been so time oriented that we add all the appointments in our calendars. We like to schedule ahead with a specific target to be achieved in that particular time frame. When things don’t go as planned we tend to panic and we do not accept the uncertain events. We need to learn to stay calm and embrace the situation to find the hidden mystery in this uncertainty.

Apart for the instruction of washing hands regularly, we should focus to build our immune system much stronger for resistance. Since most of us have been home, we can try simple home remedies (Ayurveda) to keep ourselves healthier. A balanced diet is the core foundation of staying healthy. It’s never too late for switching to healthy eating options. There are easily available ingredient in our kitchen. These can be included in our appetite to build a strong immune system.

We should add foods which are all rich in Vitamin A, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Zinc & Selenium.

Fruits – papaya, dried dates, orange.
Nuts & Oilseeds – almonds, sesame seeds, black sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, flaxseeds.
Spices – garlic, ginger, parsley, mint leaves, turmeric, cinnamon.
Vegetables – carrots, bell peppers, celery, sweet potato.
Grains – lentils, beans, black eye peas.
Whole eggs

In order to boost your immunity, we need to first ensure that we don’t have a deficiency of any single nutrient. Vitamin D, B12, Iron are some of the most common deficiencies right now. Taking the following supplements daily of Vitamin C , Vitamin D, Zinc for the next 2-3 weeks to keep your immunity up.

Drinking tea can be another way to boost your endurance. Lemon ginger tea is a simple, soothing, and effective immune booster that you can make in just a few minutes. Ginger is known for its medicinal properties, including a high level of antioxidants. Lemon contain high levels of vitamin C and all of which will enhance your immunity. In short, a warm cup of lemon ginger tea is an effective (and tasty) way to boost your immune system and keep you feeling healthy.

Sleeping patterns also have a huge impact on our immunity system. Make sure you get 7-8 hours of sleep regularly. The body needs rest so that it can function properly. Avoid staying awake during sleeping hours. Listen to your body.

“To keep the body in good health is a duty, otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”
Buddha

Take that extra care towards loving yourself a little more. A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Its never too late to focus on self care. More in the next blog! Stay tuned.

Be Safe. Stay healthy and strong! 🙂

All we need is a little sunshine! :)

It’s a human tendency to always look for validations in whatever task we do. And that’s how we get influenced. Most of the times we get pulled down adjusting ourselves with the social norms which have been preset. Isn’t it strange that we cannot violate even in today’s 21st century?

In the end we all go through stress creating a pattern of worries which affects us. We tend to find ways to get rid and not fall in this vicious cycle but then in the end we fail ending in giving up on the situation because we are helpless

Do you ever think what if there was someone to guide you through this phase? What if that person was YOU and not others? Could you be your own inspiration and write the story of you life by taking charge? Of course! Here are two simple way:

The first step to this is ACCEPTANCE. Whatever is the scenario, always accept since nothing can be changed from the past. Breathe let it go. Remember you are stronger than the storms you are facing right now which is a temporary and wont last forever.

The second step is to write down your thoughts. This involves two parts, to vent out how you feel describing all the vulnerabilities. Other is going to be a letter from the FUTURE yourself (who has fearlessly overcome the problem) to the PRESENT you (who is still miserable in pain). I know this sounds ridiculous in today’s age where we need family and friends around to support us. But then give it a try to this method as its a first step toward LOVING YOURSELF more.

In the end, its YOU who was courageous to defeat the negativity. Its time to be your own hero in your life by taking control. Don’t let others tell you what to do. Because in the end its your body, mind and soul which will never leave you when the rest of the things around constantly keep changing and evolving. While writing (or can maintain a journal) in the beginning it could be difficult but eventually you will realize that you were the brave one who was the sunshine in the darkness! 🙂

“Have Courage and Be Kind” – Cinderella

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