Finding the love within...

Protect your Aura!

“A person’s energy and the aura they give off never lies. Trust in that.” Anonymous

Do you think someone’s energy can have an impact on the people in the room? Each of us carries different energy which is our unique aura. Our personalities are the foundation to build the energy our aura will carry. The way we behave or talk with people there is an energy which is a person puts in the universe. It can vary from having calming or positive energetic to negative or anxious.

All the people we meet are not meant to be pleased. It is okay if we do not vibe with some due to their opinions or the energy they possess which affect us. We need to know when the negative vibe is affecting our aura. We should take utmost care to protect our aura as that is our identity. We have to keep our aura strong to grow

Words were never invented to fully explain the peaceful aura that surrounds us when we are in communion with minds of the same thoughts.” Eddie Myers

Negative people are in everyone’s life who keep sucking our energy. We feel drained if we spend too much time with them. If we do not take steps to protect our aura then we will be ruining our mental health. Most of the time we do not realize someone is bad for us until that person leaves the room or we stop talking to them. Those negative/toxic people are like creepers whose goal is to destroy our happiness.

I would relate these negative people like some villains of movies who have the evil motto. There are plenty of examples as each movie shows a good and bad side, in the end, the good wins over the evil. We need to step up and initiate the steps for healing and protecting our aura.

Aura is what one reflects in the heart, what you bring into the world, and what people want to learn from you.” Ozuna

I would recommend the following ways to protect your aura :

Hot water therapy –

Water is said to be a source that can turn negative to positive energy. Water has healing powers which are used by generations. A hot water bath or simply dipping your feet in water can help to release the negativity and stress. It will not only elevate you physically but also psychologically.

2. Incense stick and essential oils –

Smell plays a vital role to control our mood. If we feel low and negative, the aroma of incense stick and essential oil will help to boost our energy. Even scented candles can be used to create a positive vibe. Just like water the fire is another element that drives negativity away.

3.Salt therapy–

Salt is another oldest form of removing negative energy. There are various way of using it either taking a bath in saltwater or keeping a bowl of saltwater in the corner of the window. Salt absorbs the negativity by creating space for positive vibes to enter.

4.Affirmations by setting boundaries –

Building walls from the toxic and negative people is essential else they will suck our energy. Positive affirmations help towards self-confidence. Do not let the words affect your mental health as it can tend to play mind games by hurting our self-esteem. Saying no is difficult but sometimes the right thing to keep the distance before negativity destroys it. Too much giving and not getting the same energy in return can also be another reason where we need to know when to stop and prioritize ourselves by protecting our aura.

Be consistent in maintaining an aura of grace and love.” Meggan Roxanne

Hope this article was helpful and informative. If you have any other recommendations which worked for you do mention in the comments section. Let us keep spreading positive vibes. Be healthy and safe. Stay tuned for a new post till next week! 🙂

Inner drama -What’s your story?

“Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” -Mandy Hale

Inner drama is where our mind gets caught with emotions and cannot make a decision that it is getting harmful. We all go through drama every single day. Everyone has a unique personality. Our habits are made by what we have done. Our experiences also play a role in how our emotions take control. The way people treat us whether it’s good or bad our mind always remembers. There is one highlight about each person that comes to our mind when we see or hear their names. Irrespective of whether it’s good or bad the way they made you feel defines what will the story be.

We do not realize how growing up we mold our mind into this way The ones who like the drama genre in movies or books can totally relate when it happens in real life and we feel as if there is no difference in fiction. Drama is a powerful emotion that can be used to manipulate someone. Emotional blackmailing someone can be traumatizing. Just because a person is good doesn’t mean that they can be taken advantage of. We need to learn to respect other’s feelings. the behavior has a bad mental effect on the person. Unknowingly one’s childhood can change a person’s thinking towards certain beliefs. Till the age of 7, we are trained and instructed for what we have to do in life when we grow up. The real test begins when we start facing challenges.

Everyone deals with a given situation in a different approach depending on what is one’s inner drama and emotions. We need to take care of our mental health in order to find a way to deal with the drama in life.

“Never let somebody’s drama determine the outcome of your day.” -Terry Mark

The ones who like the drama genre in movies or books can totally relate when it happens in real life and we feel as if there is no difference in fiction. Drama is a powerful emotion that can be used to manipulate someone. Emotional blackmailing someone can be traumatizing. Just because a person is good doesn’t mean that they can be taken advantage of. We need to learn to respect other’s feelings.

Let’s us all focus on our mental health and practice ways to stay away from drama and toxic people in life

“Don’t feed the drama monster. It’s insatiable and has no friends.” ― Donna Goddard

1. Say NO –

We have a fear of losing or hurting someone if we deny doing a certain thing. There are times where we do not want to do but still do in order to keep the relationship whereas that can be harmful to your mental health. Remember we cannot control everything in life.

2. Focus on Self-love-

Don’t burn yourself so much living and doing good things for others that you forget your own existence. Being always selfless and giving will drain your energy and there is nothing coming back to you for your positivity to regain its powers.

3. Meditate –

The drama builds up our anxiety and stress levels. We need to find channels to release our stress. Either take some time off from the people around so that you can focus on yourself. Mindfulness is a remedy to most of the mental health issues in the initial stages.

Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn’t mean you have to attend the performance.” ― Cheryl Richardson

Remember no one has a right to control your life as you are still sitting in the driver’s seat. Better navigate yourself where you will find peace and happiness. In the end, we have to protect our mental health from negativity and toxic people causing drama in our life.

Healing yourself

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

Healing is a process that happens eventually. It needs a lot of patience to recover from the wounds. I am referring to emotional healing. We all have been in phases where we are heartbroken or disappointed. The pain is hard to express in words but can feel it emotionally. We do face rejections and heartbreaks from the events that life throws at us each day. There are so many emotions we deal with daily that we learn to cope with how to change the negative ones to positive. Some days we feel vulnerable to the past and hoped to have a different outcome where would have a happy ending. In the world of social media and sharing happy moments with the world we all find reasons for validation and closure.

Like every blog of mine, I do like to compare a fictional character to reality. When it comes to healing yourself I think of the superheroes who have healing powers. Do you think we have them as well? Of course, we do heal but in our ways. I can relate to either superman or wolverine who used to heal themselves from the injuries in a few minutes. Growing up we all wanted to be part of the X-men with those supernatural powers. Fantasy fictional characters also have hidden human traits that are highlighted. Another example would be a video game where there is a character who has to unlock a healing power to stay in the level longer. Similarly, in our life, we need to find ways which can heal us and keep us physically as well as emotionally strong.

Healing is a choice where one needs to be very determined to overcome emotional pain. It does not happen in a day. For some, it can take months and for other years. While healing one’s pain is often numb in such a manner that it doesn’t bother any longer. Forgetting and letting go of something or someone whom you cared about is hard. But if we see it as a lesson and experience then our prospect will change to heal sooner. Just like any physical injury takes time to heal where we give our body time to fully recover similarly emotionally healing is time-consuming.

“We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” ~Brené Brown

While healing ourselves we should not get addicted to something wrong which can be harmful. Some believe that alcohol or smoking helps to ease the pain, perhaps it could be true. Although it’s a temporary solution to forget the pain ruining health in the future. And when you come to your senses then you will again feel the same pain which you have been running away from. In a long run, you will be depending on an external source to heal instead of doing it yourself.

Another common thing most of us do is crying which is a way of expressing. It is okay to cry. Tears are not a sign of weakness. Holding up your emotions is not healthy as builds up the pain inside. When a kid cries, they are mostly said to stop crying. But when we grow up the tears we rarely cry. Sometimes it is normal to cry to let go of the pain which can help to a step closer to healing yourself. Learning from the past as a lesson by either writing or expressing by indulging in a hobby. Remember you are not broken just bend with the situation. Fixing yourself is like you standing for yourself like a warrior.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ~Kahlil Gibran

Here are four ways to heal yourself :

1. Daily source of positivity –

The way we need to shower daily to keep our body clean similarly we need positivity to fill our mind. Negativity plays mind games. We need to find a way to build a daily source of inspiration through books or podcasts.

2. Press the reset button –

We need to accept and move on. The journey will be rough but eventually, there will be a day when you completely heal. Usually, there is a glow on your face when you find the real you by resetting your story. Just like the reset button on our phone helps to restore factory settings, we too can do it in our lives.

3. Awaken the spiritual soul –

Mindfulness is a way to calm your mind. Healing needs peace and cannot happen if our mind is chaos. Prayers are powerful which helps us towards awakening our soul. Simple gratitude prayer daily can make a difference in one’s mindset. Meditation is considered as part of prayers. Positive affirmations are another way to build self-confidence as well as awakening the soul.

4. More Self-love –

Accepting yourself the way you are is one form of self-love. Once we find our passion then we can focus on developing a hobby. We need to enjoy our alone time by keeping ourselves busy. Small treats to yourself in form of gifts or spa can lift your mood. Essential oil or aromatic candles help to drive the negativity out and bring a positive environment.

A blessing is present only in something that is hidden from the view – Talmud, Taanit 8a

Mind your Ego!

The ego is the single biggest obstruction to the achievement of anything.” Richard Rose

How often do we give our self-esteem more importance than valuing a person’s opinion? The people who do not let go of self-esteem are assumed to be an egoist. The truth is that we all have an ego as a human quality and cannot get rid of it. There are phases where our ego takes control over which can lead to hurting the other person. It is a feeling which makes you feel supreme to others. I am not saying that self-love or self-esteem is bad. But it can be harmful when it is the cause of broken relationships. There is a difference between standing up for yourself and listening to that inner voice which says it is wrong than in a situation where it can ruin a relationship because of a grudge or difference of opinions. It will permit you to hurt somebody you care about is the fact that you reserve the option to show that you matter. Instead, we should learn to conquer our ego.

The question is do we keep aside the ego to save the relationship? There are some signs in life where we need to recognize when our ego tries to control us and harm our circle of people. If someone constantly gets jealous of the people around it build up our ego. Comparison is another way where the ego controls the mind by doubting your potential. It gives power to the ego to be defensive and counter-argue. The difference in opinions is okay as no two people can agree on everything. One must have respect towards the other person and not let the ego come in between. Setting up unreasonable objectives and harming self when not ready to achieve them

“The ego, however, is not who you are. The ego is your self-image, it is your social mask, it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power because it lives in fear.” Ram Dass

When we watch movies or binge-watch series some characters stand out and teach us how to handle our ego. Again I am going to talk about an animated movie since I feel that there are so many hidden values that they teach us. In the movie Tinkerbell and the lost treasure, we see how Tinkerbell and blaze have been stubborn and there are clashes of ego. The moment they push their ego aside their friendship blossoms. Similarly, we have to think about the relationship while conquering our ego

“The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly no longer the ego but just an old, conditioned mind pattern. The ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.” Eckhart Tolle

I would recommend three ways to get rid of ego which are as follows:

Forgiveness –Learning to let go is the first step. Holding to your ego will only be destructive. We all make mistakes and we need to accept them. We cannot go in the past and change things for a different ending as we want instead we can work on the present to build a better future. Learn to forgive yourself first and then others.

Reflecting – We have reasoning for our thoughts. Once we learn to be respectful to the person we are holding our ego it will be easier for more honesty. We need to avoid getting too personal. Alone time can help to calm our mind and ego as we reflect on our actions and the harsh words we said to the person we love. If those thoughts make someone feel guilty then it’s a step closer to overcoming being an egoist person. Otherwise, it will worsen the situation by not apologizing and bending down.

Gratitude – Being appreciative of the good and small things in life is much needed. A humble person has conquered his ego compared to someone else who constantly is complaining about others.

In the end, I would conclude that we don’t need be too hard on ourselves. It is okay to be disappointed with the reality which is different than expected. We should focus on the brighter side of the efforts than the outcome. We cannot control everything as per the plan in our heads. Holding back will only be harmful to our mental health.

Nature is not the final word, for nature itself was created by a being who stands outside it and who, by making us in his image, gave us the power to stand outside it. – Rabbi Dr. Lord Jonathan Sacks

Staying Grounded :)

The pain you feel are messengers Listen to them – Rumi

Every phase of life makes us stronger by the experiences we go through. Daily there are plenty of emotions going on. Irrespective of what religion we follow all of them are on the common principle of being humble and kind. In this materialistic world, we need to be reminded of our core values of humanity. Staying grounded is to be focused, present in the moment. It also means self-awareness of one’s feelings and acceptance of the things going on in the mind. Maintaining balance and self-worth also are forms of being grounded.

Our mind is constantly occupied with social media newsfeeds or news in the world. It affects our thinking power in unknown ways. Everyone has a different way of responding to the same problem. This year has three months to go and cannot believe that there will be a new year. When we look back we reflect on the past we might have some regrets which might play mind games with us. We are harming our mental health and need to learn to be more kind towards ourselves. Most of the time it is the reason we get distracted from our priorities.

A humble man will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Books and movies have focused on good and bad as the main character trait. We, humans, have both good as well bad but what we choose to be is our choice. And the decision is how our character is seen by the world. Usually, there is a good kind soul in every story we have read or seen in movies. We think that it is a fictional character and no one can be that good or evil. These good-hearted characters can be seen as ideal or role models. For example of all the Disney princess who has such strong kind soul which create an impression growing up that most of the kids see it as a quality which they need to possess.

“Be like a tree. Stay grounded. Connect with your roots. Turn over a new leaf. Bend before you break. Enjoy your natural, unique beauty. Keep growing.”– Joanne Raptis

Here are three ways to stay grounded :

1. Connecting to nature- There is a study which says that walking on the ground or grass makes them feel connected to nature. It gives a grounding effect. Even walking on the beach or letting the waves touch your feet can release the negativity. Another way would be shaking your wrist for letting go the anxieties.

2. Being kind to your mind – Connect to your breath by practicing mindfulness. Simple breathing techniques can help to inhale positivity and exhale negativity. We need to train our mind to be humble. Having gratitude towards life can be one way towards grounding yourself. Don’t brag about things you have instead be thankful.

3.Choosing peace – Talk less listen more. It’s our decision to choose peace. One way could be detoxing from technology. Limiting our screening time on phone can let us focus on the present. Self affirmations also work since we train our mind towards positivity. Some of the affirmations as as follows:

I let go of all that does not serve me and is harmful to me.
My energy is grounded, centered and focused in the now and I am safe here.
I now release all fears, worries, and anxieties and trust that all is well.
I am blessed. I am loved. I am safe.

In the end, I would conclude that we have to find small ways in our life to stay grounded. It has to be regularly practiced so that we do not sense pride or negativity where we loose our originality.

In everything you do you encounter sparks full of life and light, aspiring to rise toward the heights. You help them and they help you. – Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook

Digital Detox

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” ― Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes

We live in a world where without Wi-Fi we feel helpless. How many times during the day we all keep checking our phones. Irrespective if there is any new notification or we merely have the urge to check our phones. We have been living in this fast tech digital world where our emails and text messages have constantly buzzing. No wonder it is a way to connect with world. Eventually technology has been given more important than real human connections.

Why is digital detox necessary?

If you are someone who spends hours scrolling on social media and later feel guilty of wasting that time instead of being productive. Perhaps someone could be having Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) where they think that if they do not click to the news feed they might miss out on updates. Is it really required? Most of the times social media is show off. Everyone like to display their so called perfect life or relationship but do you really wanna believe that?

We do not realize how the technology has been bad for our mental health. We all today wake up and have the habit of checking out phone for the news, email or text we received while we were asleep. If you think about life before a phone we all did not have to wake up being stressful compared to what lifestyle we have adopted where people say if you do not change then it’s hard to survive. But is it change so important to that it is harmful for our mental health? We need to know our limits and not let technology control us.

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” ― Henry David Thoreau, American author and philosopher

The movie Social dilemma could be a good example as they explain how use to technology plays games with our mind. We all are trapped in this and have to find a way out. Another movie which I could relate when I was thinking about this topic was Ralph breaks the internet, in this Ralph enters the internet world and trying to understand its rules for survival. We can relate the way how this generation has been trapped by technology. There is all information available at the click or just asking to Google Home / Alexa / Siri.

Here are four ways for digital detox :

Self-control –

Setting limitations and rules to how much time should one should spend using technology. There are apps which help to set a time for technology addiction. Self control needs loads of determination as it won’t happen in a day but eventually can get there to get rid of the addiction.

Set limits n rules to stick to it. Install app to lock the screen time or not spend more time on social media mind games.

2. Spend quality time with people around

Often we look down on our phone so much that we ignore the people in the room with us. It is mostly our family members whom we do not prioritize and take them for granted at the cost of some silly notification to reply on social media.

3. Indulge in a hobby

Having a hobby helps our mind to be creative. It can be in form of physical activities, creative arts, reading or writing. Find something of your interest where you can avoid using technology to destress.

4. More reflection time

Self reflections are important for us to grow and redirect our decisions. In our busy lives we often are on a schedule where there is no time to sit back and think of our past action. Maintaining a journal or writing can be one of the ways. In that manner thoughts are channeled for planning our future actions.

In the end I would like to say that we need to have better time management towards the technology we use. Lets work on ourselves towards leading a meaningful and better life.

Overwhelmed?

“Our greatest battles are with our minds.” – Jameson Frank

Have you ever felt that there are too many things on your plate? Are you juggling between plenty of things not able to finish a single task? If yes, then you have experienced emotionally overwhelmed. It is a phase where we get carried away in deep thoughts to the extent that we tend to feel low. By not getting the tasks done can impact our self-esteem to lower as we are too hard on ourselves. Our mind wanders with all the whys and strategizing how to be more efficient. Mental health is affected because of the amount of tension, stress, frustration the situation creates.

We can’t control what happens to us, however, we can control how we respond to it. There are times when life throws a curveball where we cannot just wait for things to get better without making any efforts. Perhaps the way to stop feeling overwhelmed lies in what we concentrate on. We need to have confidence in ourselves. The longer we hold on to the positivity it will help to navigate a difficult situation. Our energy defines us so it is important what we give in is what we receive from the universe. When we are overwhelmed, we think of giving up. Remember how far you have come and how much furthermore you can go. We can always hit the restart button. It’s not generally about fixing what’s messed up, once in a while it’s tied in with moving forward and making a brighter future. No one is great and perfect; we’re growing and getting better each day.

Sometimes you’re overwhelmed when a thing comes, and you do not realize the magnitude of the affair at that moment. When you get away from it, you wonder, did it really happen to you. -Marian Anderson

Cinderella or Tiara from Princess and the frog could be a good example of how both characters are overwhelmed with the household or work. They keep juggling between different tasks which shows how someone can multitask. But in reality it is not easy to do plenty of things simultaneously. Something or the other will be ruined or be incomplete. The mind will always be occupied by lacking focus.

When life gets hectic and you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on the people and things you are most grateful for. When you have an attitude of gratitude, frustrating troubles will fall by the wayside. – Dana Arcuri

On the road of life, we are in the driver seat of the car. We need to take control and focus on the positive. Here are three ways to get rid of feeling overwhelmed.

Calm your mind –

Take deep breaths. Too many things in our minds often create tension and anxiety. We need to learn to practice mindfulness. Mediate or listen to calm soft music to release the stress. The negativity must go out else it will only hamper our mental health.

Learn to prioritize –

We must change our multi-tasking attitude. While multitasking we cannot focus on one task and end up messing up or having incomplete tasks. Learning to say no can also avoid more tasks and feelings of being overwhelmed. We need to pay attention to the present. Making a list of things to do at priority might be helpful. Time management is key.

Accept your potential –

We have limited resources whether its time or money. We need to plan the resources to the fullest according to our potential. We cannot do everything but we can concentrate one step at a time. We should know our limits and pay attention to our feelings. It is okay and normal to feel overwhelmed but we need to accept and share with a therapist or friend. Do not be too hard on yourself.

When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better. – Anonymous

Forgiveness!

“Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.” Indira Gandhi.

Forgiveness is about letting go of the grudge. It about expressing kindness to those who have hurt us. Human relations are mutual and have to be maintained by basic principles of respect. There are times every relation the other person does not behave as expected whether it is with parents or siblings or friends or spouse. Their actions or words create a sense of tension in the relationship causing an argument. There could be a silence shut down by avoiding the argument just because the person is so disturbed or hurt. It is a very upsetting feeling as our expectations are hurt. The more we hold on the pain only harms our emotional health. Keeping a grudge of someone treating us badly is not our fault. Unless we forgive the person who did bad to us we cannot heal from the pain it caused us. Healing and forgiving someone are not easy processes. It cannot happen in a day but it’s a process where we need to train our minds to let go of the resentment. Practicing the art of forgiveness, we learn to boost our self-esteem.

We sometimes intentionally or unintentionally hurt someone. In those cases, we need to seek for pardon or forgiveness. It goes both ways as forgiveness can mend a broken relationship. A way to retain people in life is to forgive as the phase was bad which made the person mistreat us. There are plenty of factors that affect a scenario to be upsetting or hurting. Suppressing the emotion of feeling vulnerable by being mistreated with harsh words is not a solution. Negative emotions like jealousy, anger, hatred control us when we do not forgive. Lack of communication could be one of the reasons why we hold on to a grudge. Taking someone too seriously or personally towards a person who said was kidding can be misleading.

“Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” – The Lion King

Often movies and characters teach us values which we need to be reminded of. One of my favorite character when it comes to the topic of forgiveness is Cinderella. She knows to forgive her step-mom who made her life miserable. In the end, she says “I forgive you” to her step-mom which showed Cinderella’s, kind heart. That is an example of how it is necessary to forgive someone who treated us badly.

Ways towards forgiveness :

Empathy –

There is a difference between empathy and sympathy. For forgiving someone it is necessary to develop empathy where we try to understand the mindset of the person who harmed us. Every person has developed their view over the years of experience and people in their life to influence the decisions. If we closely observe the one’s actions and behavior are similar to the environment, they have grown so we need to have empathy towards them. Empathy will stronger the relationship and help to see the other side of the coin. Perhaps they might be going through a rough patch, never would you know unless you are kind towards them. Everyone has a story and reason behind their actions. Once we have empathy the process of healing and forgiving is easier.

Be kind on yourself –

We are hard on ourselves by taking the blame for bad things happening to us. Whereas we are not responsible if some have inappropriate behavior towards us. We need to be kind on ourselves just the way we do for others. We need to put ourselves first. It is okay to feel hurt with harsh words but it is not okay to keep resentment or grudges. We need to learn to move forward by learning the lesson the rough times are teaching us. The future is going to be brighter than the past. Pain is inevitable Like how bruises take time to heal similarly when we forgive we heal ourselves by giving time.

Closure –

It is said that everything happens for a reason. And with each person, we meet there are a new experience and form of emotion which is addressed. To calm emotional pain like negativity, lack of enthusiasm, trust issues we need to acknowledge and recognize it. The more pain someone has given you the more you are harming yourself as your mind keeps questions for closure. The truth is that unless we let go and forgive we will keep running in a loop of more emotional pain. The closure will calm our minds temporarily where we tend to overthink. Ruminating over an issue causes resentment and ruins the relationship. As humans, we all make mistakes so we need to ask for forgiveness as well as forgive others. Forgiveness won’t lower your value will boost your confidence level.

All major religious traditions carry the same message; that is love, compassion, and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.— Dalai Lama

In the end, I would conclude that forgiveness will help us to elevate ourselves to find the hidden meaning of our life. We look at it as stepping stones learning to let go and move on to the next. We are urged to forgive the ones who hurt us and we should seek forgiveness from the ones we have sinned knowingly or unknowingly

The prophet Micah (7:18) asked: “Who is G-d like You, tolerating iniquity and forgiving transgression … ?” Upon which, the Talmud commented (Rosh Hashanah 17a): “Whose iniquities does G-d tolerate? A person who forgives the transgressions of another.” – Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb

Let me go!

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

Each day is a new start. We keep learning daily while going through a lot of emotions. Human connections go two ways by both individuals. We have so many different roles to play associated each person in our life whether they are with parents, spouse, children, friends, or family. One thing common in all is how you convey various forms of emotional connections at various levels. Some can be very close others can be acquainted. Nothing is going to be forever not the bad time nor the good times where you do not want to let that moment slip off. We all want good times to pause but things keep changing around. Another aspect is how relationships cannot be one-sided. It must be mutual from both else it never works. In case one of them does not feel that are on the same page can cause dispute and arguments.

“Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with you. You’ll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival.” ~ Osho

A one-sided relationship is unhealthy for our mental health. I am referring to the one who wants to break ties with this toxic person or workplace. Often there is stress and anxiety involved. Also feeling of being trapped since they know that the other person does not want to let you go. They like to exploit your potential to drain your energy. We can easily be victims since these manipulators know the weakness to keep you with them. They pay attention to you when it serves them knowing the fact it is only for their benefit. It can be a job one drags themselves to work where they get insulted or mistreated. But they still show up even if deep within they want to leave it as it costs their dignity. Manipulators have the art of sugar-coating words by getting the work done. It is merely taking advantage of the victim because they are kind enough to believe it.

Every individual is unique and special in their owns way. No one has the right to bring you down. It is very important to know your worth in any relationship or workplace. Actions speak louder than words. People never forget how someone treated them. There could be either feeling of respect to uplift you. Chances are that it could be insulting or degrading you. Always learn to distinguish a good and bad feeling. Remember its not you who is bad but their attitude. We have a right to walk away from people who do not treat us the way we want to be respected.

“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something good for you now, maybe the very reason why you don’t have anything better.” – C. JoyBell C.

Way to save yourself and navigate :

Step out of the comfort zone – We do not accept changes easily since we are too comfortable in the phase we are in. But if you think whether it is serving you the way it has too then most of the time our answer will be no. We have to take that risk and do things that are new to us. Unless we try we will never know what our hidden potentials are.
Learn to say NO – We are a little hesitant to refuse or reject someone thinking that they will feel bad. In order not to break the relation whether personal or professional, we often do the task which we do not like. Learning to say no could be difficult. We can use the following to make it more formal and not ruining relations.
1. I have got too much on my plate right now
2. I appreciate you asking me, but my time is already committed
3. Thank you so much for your enthusiasm. I am sorry I am not able to help you at this time.
4. Thank you for asking me, but that isn’t going to work out for me.

Be firm on your decisions – Decisions are hard and sticking to them is harder. We need to get the reasoning and proper closure for the phase we are in. Calm your mind to see the pros and cons of the situation. If possible, write it so that it is visual when it is written analyzing gets easier. We are giving opinions to make a choice where we have to be strong-headed by following what we have decided to do.

In the end, I would conclude that we should not do things which made us feel discomfort. If it is not serving you or helping you to grow it is not for you.

“You feel what you feel and your feeling are real”- Frozen 2

Growing pains!!

Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. – J.K. Rowling

Each day we keep discovering new things about ourselves – either positive or negative. We keep expanding our horizons as we enter different phases of life. Dealing with tension, anxiety leading to unwanted emotional compromises which are known as psychological growing pains. It is said no pain no gain which means that we need to face pain which helps us to grow as an individual. The hard times have a purpose to make us strong. Whenever we reflect back on past difficulties, we always have observed how we have overcome the problem and upgraded to another level of endurance.

As humans, we suffer from two types of pain – physical and mental. Either way, there is an element of discomfort. Physical pain is experienced during working out or exercising. An athletic or a person going to the gym regularly would have to push their limits each day which results in body pain as the muscles are building up. In order to achieve daily targets and have the sets on a rep, one has to constantly keep consistency. Emotional growing pains are similar to physical pain. The way we need should not ignore anybody’s pain and take the proper medication or rest for it to heal. We should do the same for our mental health which most of us tend to ignore as it is not a common topic to be discussed.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. – Kahlil Gibran

Often we tend to stay in our comfort zones and can not accept challenges or changes easily. The more we cling for a situation not to change we are causing pain to ourselves by not letting go. It affects one’s prosperity and growth. Rather, we should become pioneers, pushing the limits of what we think we know and opening ourselves to the likelihood that what we believe is certainly could be feeling. Testing ourselves in such a manner can cause some distress, so go slowly. Getting out of the comfort zone is the first step to conquer the change which is causing pain.

A tree has to face changing weather all year round. The way it stays strong in the windiest days. It is similar to the pains we go through in life where we can not be carried away with the wind but keep our roots strong so that we overcome it bravely. Another example would be the Disney character Mulan, where she is trained to be the finest warriors. Initially, she couldn’t cope up with the challenges but eventually, she did learn. There is no courage without fear.

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. Lao Tzu

Getting over emotional pain does not happen in a day. So do not be too hard on yourself. Give yourself ample time to heal. I would recommend the following tips to overcome emotional pain

Appreciate the present

Remember you are where you once wanted to be. Now you are struggling with the next goal in life which will serve you. Do not self doubt yourself. Always show up and take each day as a challenge. You will eventually get what you deserve. Do not ruminate on the past and try to let go to embrace the present.

Refine Failure

Pain often helps us to grow. No one likes to be in pain but its all part of the process for getting better humans. If there were no curveball or twists in life it would not been a rollercoaster ride. We would not appreciate the success as we can get it easily without failure and might take it for granted. In order to value the reward of prosperity, we all have to go through immense emotional pain. We need to seek and celebrate the phase we are in. We should appreciate the person we are. Find a circle of people who lift you up in these hard times to push you to achieve your goals.

Reframe your thought

Growing is about discomfort which is not a feeling we can express in words. There are days when this pain keeps increasing which pushes our limits. The feelings are knocking your door where we have a fear which is overwhelming with countless number of doubts. We need to reframe our thoughts to navigate the process. Most of the times we get and answer when we question ourselves if it is serving me or not? Trust your inner voice.

In the end I would conclude by saying keep shining brighter as you possess the inner light which guides you in dark time.

Whatever it is you want to change, Elul (Jewish month) is the time for it. Unprecedented doors open up for you now, opportunities that do not come very often – Rabbi Simon Jacobson

Letter to Yourself :)

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” Anne Frank

Journaling is a form of self-reflection. It gives a break from the world. Either it can be planning for the day ahead or writing about past experiences. Find what works for you. Simply realize that it might end up being the most significant thing you do throughout the day. We have kept our schedules so busy that we hardly have time to reflect by pausing to spend time with yourself. Maintaining a journal to write down your emotions is a way of expressing. Sometimes all we need is self-talk to guide us and keep that spirit to overcome challenges in difficult times. It’s you who is working through your issues by clearing your head. Describing some past trauma that is only deep within yourself. And the journey towards healing the pain.

Have you thought of a past event during a tough time were now in the present its no longer a big deal? Of course, we all have been through phases where we give up and lose the faith of why everything is falling apart. We all needed someone to guide and stand beside us through such tough times. What if you had a chance of guiding yourself? The answer is by maintaining a journal or simply a letter to yourself. Assume that the future you who has achieved all the goals you have in the present is your mentor to get you to where you are supposed to be. You will be stunned by how great you feel after.

“Journal writing, when it becomes a ritual for transformation, is not only life-changing but life-expanding.” Jen Williamson

Maintaining a diary can be helpful not for yourself but also can be a guide to the next generation for a source of motivation and hope. Anne Frank’s diary is one of the most popular books which were published in many languages. It is a perfect example of how she can be such an inspirational person.

Benefits of Journaling :

Decreases stress and depression.
Knowing yourself better.
Stronger emotional intelligence.
Gives yourself time for healing.
Spending time towards self-reflection and self-care.
Strategizing futuristic goals.
Self-talk boosts confidence levels.
Analyzing life issues and rough times.

The first step to start to indulge in your schedule always needs some guidance. Writing letters might not be for everyone, in that case, you can use these apps

Reflectly
Journey Diary
Headspace
Calm
Happify
Reflect

You can either journal in the mornings to start the day with positivity and tasks to do. Else it can be in the night time before going to bed where you can write about the highlight of the day and what emotions did you go through. I prefer to do in the night as its more time for self-talk and clearing the mind. Sometimes, all you must start thinking back what you did today. It can be some project you are working on or some workout which you can do which has increased your productivity. There will be days when you need to be your inspiration and use positive affirmations in your letters to yourself. You will have to push yourself toward achieving the target.

Gratitude is another topic to write as most of the times we are not grateful for what we have in the present. Appreciating the individuals and parts of your life you are thankful for. There will be times where we start self-analyzing on a situation by asking yourself questions like “Who am I?” and “What did I do well/wrong?” Consider what you could improve or what is keeping you down and write about it in your diary or letters to yourself.

In the end, I would conclude by saying that you can always modify what you want to write depending on your mood or preference. So, let’s start this self-love journey by writing letters to ourselves. Why do we need to wait for someone to give us those love letters when we are there for ourselves? That is what self-love journey is all about prioritizing yourself first.

“The starting point of discovering who you are, your gifts, your talents, your dreams, is being comfortable with yourself. Spend time alone. Write in a journal.” Robin Sharma

Magic of Positive Affirmations

“The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others), IS A CHOICE! You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path.” – Miya Yamanouchi

Life is not about how we show our happy faces on social media. There are going to be rough phases where you want to shut yourself down and just cry your heart as loud as you could. As humans, we do have negative feelings which makes us feel lost. Being an adult, it’s okay to cry as it’s a way to express pain. Having a plan in our mind which doesn’t work, gives power to that plan where we feel as if life is going to fall apart. It’s said there is a reason behind everything, and we need to trust the process. At times it gets difficult to navigate in the darkness no knowing that the light that guides you is within. It is easy to say but then once we calm our minds by accepting the feeling it gets easier to deal with the situation instead of overthinking or ruminating over the past.

We must buckle up and be our hero. We need to have our future version of ourselves as a cheerleader for the present us. Knowing our worth we all have a picture in our mind what or how we want to be in the future. Why not be our motivation?

Our mind needs to be trained to practice positive affirmations when we feel stressed and anxious. Positive affirmations help to stay focused. It will build self-confidence and self-worth. It is advised to say the affirmations in the present tense as the mind learns to accept those statements. If the affirmations are in a future tense then there is a possibility of contingency or assumption of a particular scenario to happen which is usually not the case.

“Watch what you tell yourself, you’re likely to believe it.” – Russ Kyle

Here’s a list of positive affirmations that can be used for different situations.

Start the morning with these affirmations:

I am going to face whatever comes today with a positive attitude.
This is a new day I begin a new claim and create all that is good and so it is.
Today I create a wonderful new day and a wonderful new future.

When you feel low use these affirmations

My self-esteem is high because I honor who I am.
I am a unique and beautiful soul.
All I seek is already within me.

In case of anxiety the following can be helpful to calm your mind :

I am enough.
I believe in myself and trust my own wisdom.
I am loved and peace lies within me.

When you are feeling disappointed or dealing with failures say the following:

I am in the process of positive change.
I deserve all that is good.
It is okay to make mistakes and I am stronger as a result.

Before going to sleep it is better to have a clear mind else we might have trouble falling asleep. The following can be useful to avoid insomnia and have a peaceful goodnight sleep.

I am in harmony with the universe.
I am grateful and relaxed with where I am in life right now.
I am letting go of all my tension in my body and mind.

I would conclude, by saying self-talk with positivity is very essential to get our mind back on track. The above positive affirmations can be used in other situations as well apart from the ones mentioned. Meditating with these positive affirmations also goes along very well. Since our mind is choosing to relax with meditation music in the background. Focusing on the present is the main goal. In case you have other affirmations do share in the comments where it will be useful for other readers.

“It’s what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future.” – Paulo Coelho

Know your Worth! :)

“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” Wayne Dyer

When we acknowledge and recognize, and know, that we are worthy, our life can take a new turn. Often, we stick to a job or around people where we do not feel respected and appreciated. Each one of us is unique and has an energy that they give to the universe. We cannot let anybody treat you like you are normal when they don’t see our value. It is said that you get what you settle. You should encircle yourself with the individuals who see your self-esteem, who love you, who regard you, who support you and develop you to a more significant level. Don’t underestimate yourself since you can accomplish anything.

Remember:

Know your worth. Know the difference between what you’re getting and what you deserve. Do not settle for anything less
Never allow yourself to be defined by someone else’s opinion.
Always be prepared, always be yourself, and always be honest. That is a good recipe for self-respect, self-love, and self-worth.

We have all been there – feeling exploited or compared in professional or personal life by people who have treated us badly. It’s a simple to bring others at fault and degrade them. Yet if you begin to think back about the scenario, you may understand that there is one common person in every situation and circumstance, which is you. To some extent, it unknowingly affects our mental health. You allow people to treat you the way they do.

“Sometimes We Only See How People Are Different. But If We Look Hard Enough, You Can See How Much We’re All Alike.”- Princess Jasmine, Aladdin

There are plenty of movies that have a glimpse of an eye-opener towards our value. Being a Disney fan, I would relate it to the movie Aladdin, where he thinks that the only way to win Jasmine is to change himself. That is where he lies to be Prince Ali instead of being himself as Aladdin who was poor which made him ashamed of his situation. All he had to do is be himself which would be the best thing instead of assuming that Jasmine does not deserve him. We see hidden values behind this story of being proud of oneself irrespective of how bad society treats you. No one must change themselves for other’s happiness or social norms.

Here are 3 ways to boost your self-worth:

1.Be your own hero –

It is always good to charge of the situation. No one can treat you badly unless you give them the power to pull you down. If you know yourself well then you know where you are compromising. Take a deep breath, and be brave to get out of the comfort zone. There’s no wrong method to do this. No one else gets to control your life story so it is better to do things that make you happy in the long run. Instead of ruminating over someone who does not value you enough to see what your caliber can do.

2. Build your happy place –

It is never too late to start loving ourselves. Learn to value ourselves by not being too hard on ourselves. Self-care isn’t selfish. It includes having a proper sleeping pattern, healthy habits, staying hydrated. We often do things for others without putting ourselves as a priority. We need to build a happy place where we know our potential that no one can dare to break us.

3.Identify your strength –

Self-love is a way to invest in your goals and future strategies. We all have strengths and weaknesses. People like to point out our weaknesses which pull us down. If we know our self worth then we can build our self-image. It also boosts our confidence by focusing on our strengths.

All I will conclude that we do not need anyone who constantly lets us feeling worthy irrespectively of in a relationship or at work or any other situation. We should stand up for ourselves.

“We are stars wrapped in skin, the light what you are seeking has always been within”- Rumi

Enhance your soul! :)

“The soul has been given its ears to hear things that the mind does not understand.” – Rumi

Our soul is a spiritual aspect that is connected to our body and mind. All three of them have to be healthy for expanding our true potential. We need to push our boundaries by getting out of our comfort zone. Is there a limit where we cannot go beyond it? If it was body then yes its limited. After a certain time, we cannot work out or exercise and the body needs to rest. It doesn’t work that way for our soul as there is no limit. Our soul is a significant part of life that can be pushed aside when things get hectic. The soul expresses the most profound version of oneself. It is like the mirror image of the real you which had to be discovered with time. The purpose to nourish our soul is inner growth towards a positive uplifting in life.

Each soul is unique and rare. We need to discover our soul so that we know ourselves better. Our body needs food to grow and stay healthy, similarly, we need to find ways to nourish our soul. Our habits play an important role in building a personality and routine. In the long run, there will be powerful results seen. If our foundation is strong then we can have a better soul connection with ourselves and others. Often we get stuck in negative feelings or toxic people which doesn’t let our soul fulfill its true purpose.

“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher, but your soul.” – Swami Vivekananda

Every relationship in life has a profound reason that helps us to develop and stay grounded. The most challenging people in our life bring the best in ourselves. From them we learn to be patient, forgiving, enduring the pain, and other emotions. In that phase, we feel that there will be only more bad things happening without having any ray of hope. We tend to look for answers and validations outside. We forget to look within ourselves where all the hidden answers can be found. Enhancing our soul with little steps daily can help to face difficult situations and making life simpler.

We often have pre-conceived notions of who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing. We make the mistake of letting the past define us. Remember, don’t let who you were yesterday limit who you can become today. Each day is a learning experience. How much ever we know things about ourselves is never complete. Always there will be a time where we find our hidden talents which we weren’t aware of. We need to be open to seeing different aspects of ourselves even if they are at first uncomfortable or unfamiliar to us.

“Remember, you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine.” — Snow White

We have all been raised to accept that a bustling life is a secret to a happy life, however, that is not the truth. Our world has become more materialistic over the years. Stress has been part of the modern lifestyle. We need to pause and cleanse our soul to uplift it. Here are FIVE ways to enhance the soul:

Detox and self-reflect –

We have been so glued to our phones or computers that life outside the box is ignored. We do not pay attention to the people in our room. We should find a day or a time slot where we detox from technology. We need to pause and self-reflect. With our constant busy life, we hardly get time to think if we are heading in the right direction or not. Make a list of negative people who have drained your energy. Try to avoid them so that your mental health is not a victim. Learn to forgive yourself and people who did bad to you. Self-reflection is so significant for our self-awareness. Self-reflection helps you with your identity and makes more space for positive thinking.

2. Clean / Declutter –

Cleaning and rearranging the room helps to create a psychological relaxing feeling. When we see a mess in the room we tend to have feeling of frustration and negativity. Small habits like making our bed when we wake up also are effective as when we come home after a long day we at least have our bed clean and ready to sleep.

3. Eat healthy food –

A healthy body leads to a healthy mind and soul. Our body and soul are connected. The way we eat and our body immediately has changes in case we modify our diet similarly it affects our soul as well. We need to invest in our health towards eating all the necessary ingredients our body needs.

4. Meditate

Mindfulness starts with meditation. It can be simply done by letting go of the thought which keeps running in our mind and focus our attention on our breath. There is a study that says that mediation is useful for our mental health. Our soul needs to find inner peace. Calming your mind helps to decrease stress. Whether it’s writing all your thoughts on paper before bed or meditating in the morning, make it a priority to calm your mind at least once a day.

5.Pamper yourself –

It is never too late to start investing in yourself. Pampering yourself can start by being kind towards yourself. Prioritizing yourself is never a bad idea. The more you discover things about yourself the more skills you need to work on. We get triggered emotions that we don’t deserve what we are given. Some way or another we didn’t earn it, which implies that we are battling with unworthiness and an absence of self-love. We can brighten up our day by investing our time in doing small things that we love to do. Remember you are always worthy and you deserve happiness!

“Don’t be afraid of discovering that the ‘real you’ may be different than the ‘current you.’” – Rabbi Noah Weinberg, zt”l

In the end I would conclude that we all have to enhance our soul each day for a better life. It will create an positive attitude towards reflecting on ourselves and not being a victim of the bandwagon effect where we end up doing things just for the sake of pleasing the society. Self-love is the most powerful tool in the path of self-development. If you have more ideas to nourish our soul then do share in the comments section.

Overthinking!

“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” – Winnie the Pooh

There are hidden life messages in cartoons that we tend to ignore. Winnie the Pooh is the only one who can look cute while he thinks. In the end, Pooh chooses to let go of the worry not because he is a silly bear we have grown up with but he is wise to know to overthink won’t serve anyone. But when we try to imitate then we give a chance for negative thoughts to take control. Overthinking ruins friendships and relationships by creating problems you never had. It makes you feel like you’re stuck in one spot, and in case that you don’t act, it can enormously affect your everyday life. Overthinking can immediately put your health in danger.

We, humans, are said to be the smartest species, where only we can think. Our minds often start thinking about things and scenarios which are far from reality. It leads to overthinking and creating anxiety and worries. Overthinking is to consider something too much or for a long time. This can be either in a situation of decision making or could be insecurities where you cannot escape your head. Like rumination, overthinking goes over in the same cycle which can be exhausting for our mental health. Usually overthinking happens when we have too much free or ideal time when our mind wanders and starts making stories that won’t happen. It is seen that sleep is the first thing that is affected because of overthinking causing insomnia. The thoughts we get while going to bed are often a negative or unrealistic situation that troubles us in life. Our mind keeps repetitive asking the why and how questions either about the past or planning the future.

If we realized how powerful our thoughts are we would never think negatively again. Some energies control the world. We all have thoughts that are associated with strong intangible energy. We need to recognize our thoughts to transform energy and not overthinking. Being aware of our energy is where we cannot be held a victim of our thoughts. Our subconscious mind creates situations without even knowing. We give power to this inner world which dwells in our minds by assumptions. Overthinking is negative energy that ruins our happiness with doubts, non-existing obstacles, jealousy, and insecurities. It makes us feel low and frustrated.

Put your thoughts to sleep. Do not let them cast a shadow over the moon of your heart. Let go of thinking.”.— Rumi

Three Ways to get rid of overthinking:

Manage your story –

We need to let go of the past. Our late-night thoughts are mostly regrets or chances we didn’t take, or how some scenario would have been better as per our happy ending in our head. To be honest, there is no perfect moment. We give them the power to things or situations for our happiness. If we are waiting for some particular scenario then are we getting things done? We need to focus on the emotions. It is okay to have those negative thoughts and overthinking, we all do and it is normal. We need to learn to live in the present without overthinking about the past or future. The only thing we have control over is the present and a choice to make where to focus our energy. The situation could make people bad, but it doesn’t last forever. We are always evolving in our life phases.

2. Tame the emotions –

It is important to recognize thoughts. We need to tell ourselves to stop. Focusing our attention on something else will end negative thoughts. Meditation can be helpful since it teaches us to live in the moment and let all the worries go away. We need to try finding a solution in case there is a problem and we keep overthinking all the consequences and the conclusions way before it happened. Remember there is a difference between fear and intuition. Overthinking is more of a fear of the unknown rather than having a gut feeling and still not listening to it. We need to tame our emotions and our thoughts.

3. Be Self-aware –

We should learn to have self-talk with ourselves. Spending too much alone time makes our minds think too much. We need to change our approach from this negative outcome to an opportunity of learning and experience. If we ask, “Will this matter to me 5 years from now?” Most of the times the answer is NO. Look at-in in this way, when was the last time we were overthinking in the past and today we are in a completely different and better phase. If we had not given our thoughts so much power to drain us, we could have had better sleep in the past. If it can work at that time, then why ruin our present by overthinking. Self-talk is the key as it allows us to have self-awareness of the situation. We need to learn to be more action-oriented instead of delaying the action. Also setting a time for decision making can be helpful so that we know what the outcome is instead of having n number of situations in our head.

“The more you rationalize, the more you move farther away from your authentic self.” ― Shannon L. Alder

In the end, I would conclude that we all must take care of our mental health and stop overthinking. Remember, do not be too hard on yourself and show some self-love towards yourself. If you have any more tricks to calm your mind from overthinking let me know in the comments sections. Also share it with your circle and whom you know might be an overthinking.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: